Letters To The Mercs
by FreakyFairyKitten
Summary: You the readers get to send in letters to the mercenaries and they will answer you have fun!
1. Chapter 1

HELLO THIS IS FREAKYFAIRYKITTEN HERE WITH MY FIRST FIC I DON'T SEE A LOT OF THESE IF ANY ON HERE SO I'M DOING A FIC WHERE YOU THE READERS SEND IN LETTERS TO THE MERCS AND THEY WILL ANSWER YOU LETS DO THIS!

Scout "pfft I already know I'm your guys' favorite so go ahead and send me all da letters"

Heavy "Heavy cares not if you babies send Heavy letters or not"

Sniper "Gooday mates can't wait to chat with ya"

Pyro "Mmmphh! Mmmphh! Mmmphh!"

Demoman "Send in your letters lads and lassies"

Spy "I better see some letters addressed to me or so help me I'll sneak in your house"

Engineer "ah reckon ya'll will send me some letters"

Soldier "GO SEND SEND SEND!"

Medic "If you do not shend me in shom lettersh you vill become mien latest experiment"


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Mercs

Do you guys enjoy your jobs?

-Guest

Dear Guest

Of course I do because I'm so good at it

Love da Scout

Dear Guest

Well I guess its ok mate I'd rather be hunting though

Love the Sniper

Dear Guest

OF COURSE I LOVE MY JOB IT'S FOR AMERICA USA! USA! USA!

Love Soldier

Dear Guest

Ah reckon I enjoy my job I'm getting to do what I love

Love the Engineer

Dear Guest

Mmmpphh!

Love the Pyro

Dear Guest

Yes I love it it's funny to watch people get mad when I stab them in the back

Love Spy

Dear Guest

I get to blow people up lad so it's fine by me

Love the Demoman

Dear Guest

Heavy loves Heavy's job

Love Heavy

Dear Guest

Vell it gives me an excuse to experiment on people sho ja I love it

Love zhe Medic


	3. Chapter 3

Tf2guest:Dear Medic,

I would like to ask if soldier bullies you, being from Germany.

Dear Demoman,

Are you ever sober?

Dear Tf2guest

He bulliesh me shometimes but vhen he doesh it I just shimply threaten to show him my workout vidoesh it shends him running faster than anything

Love the Medic

Dear Tf2guest

No no I am not why be sober that's a dumb idea

Love the Demoman


	4. Chapter 4

Cool Beans:Hello everyone,

Dear Coolbeans

Hi!

-Scout

Dear Cooldbeans

Hallo

-Medic

Dear Coolbeans

HELLO

-Soldier

Dear Coolbeans

Ello

-Sniper

Dear Coolbeans

Hi Ladie

-Demoman

Dear Coolbeans

Howdy

-Engineer

Dear Coolbeans

Bonjour

-Spy

Dear Coolbeans

Mmmphh!

-Pyro

Dear Coolbeans

Heavy says hello

-Heavy


	5. Chapter 5

Oops P:I made the mistake of posting before I even started, silly me.

*clears throat*

Hello Mercenaries of RED and BLU,

I hope that you are all doing well, relatively speaking. I couldn't think of which mercenary to start with (because the others would probably kill me), so I'm going to ask a general question to all of you to get the ball rolling :)

Which mercenary, either team, would you most want to hang by their shoestrings on the top of a tall tree in a thunderstorm and why?

I hope that you are all well. . . and please don't hunt me down and switch my organs with animal ones!

Dear uhh whats yer name?

Oh my god the Pyro he's such a freak! By the way I'm doing fine still hot as ever ;)

Love the Scout

Dear Guest

The Spy he's sooo annoying with his sapping my babies I hate it when he saps my babies! Plus ah reckon I'm doing fine thanks for asking

Love the Engineer

Dear Guest

The Soldier he's such a loud mouth you can hear him from miles mate miles plus it's really annoying when I'm about to snipe someone and he shoots me with a rocket just saying it tends to chap one's hide

Love the Sniper

Dear Guest

Heavy hates them all

Love the Heavy

Dear Guest

Mmmphh Mmmmpphh Mmmphh!

Love the Pyro

Dear Guest

I will have to say the Pyro he always blows my cover Ugh I hate it!

Love the Spy

I HATE THE MEDIC BECAUSE HE'S A GERMAN I BET HE WAS A NAZI

Love the Soldier

Dear Guest

I vould have to shay that I find the Sniper most annoying he alvays tries to shnipe me sho I vont heal people like its mien job duuh

Love the Medic

Dear Guest

Well lad I find the Scout most annoying he's a big mouth and he's too fast for me to blow up

Love the Demoman


	6. Chapter 6

Dear MercsWhat Mercenary do you hate the most?

Love Dead to be forgotten

Dear Deadtobeforgotten

*shivers* the Pyro that thing is such a freak!

-Scout

Dear Deadtobeforgotten

Pyro

-Spy

Dear Deadtobeforgotten

Shniper

-Medic

Dear Deadtobeforgotten

Soldier

-Sniper

Dear Deadtobeforgotten

Spy

-Engineer

Dear Deadtobeforgotten

Mmmpphh!

-Pyro

Dear Deadtobeforgotten

Scout

-Demoman

Dear Deadtobeforgotten

MEDIC

-Soldier

Dear Deadtobeforgotten

Heavy hates everyone

-Heavy


	7. Chapter 7

From: Huddah (Guest)

Huddah:Mphh, huddah-huh. Huddah mphh pffs. Sppppeee, muph, huddah.

Huddah-mph hu-huddah mpph.

Huddah 

Dear Huddah

…..uhhh what?

From a very confused Scout

Dear Huddah

…

Love the Spy

Dear Huddah

Do you need help mate?

Love the Sniper

Dear Huddah

Mmmphh!

Love the Pyro

Dear Huddah

Vhat zhe heck is vrong with you?

Love zhe Medic

Dear Huddah

WHY ARE YOU TALKING CRAZY START MAKING SENSE

Love the Soldier

Dear Huddah

What is it lad?

Love the Demoman

Dear Huddah

Crazy baby needs help

Love Heavy

Dear Huddah

No comment

Love the Engineer


	8. Chapter 8

Dear Soldier,

What would you do if Scout painted Lieutenant Bites the paint color Pink as Hell?

Love Zinfinz

Dear Zinfinz

I WOULD DYE ALL HIS CLOTHES PINK THEN I'D MAKE HIM WEAR A PINK FRILLY DRESS AND SING ADELE'S SOMEONE LIKE YOU RIGHT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE AND THEN I'D DYE HIS HEAR PINK IN HIS SLEEP THEN I'D TELL EVERYONE THAT HE STILL SLEEPS WITH HIS TEDDY BEAR THAT I WOULD ALSO DYE PINK NO BODY MESSES WITH LIEUTENANT BITES NO BODY THEN I JUST MIGHT KILL HIM WITH CRIT ROCKETS

Love the Soldier


	9. Chapter 9

Miss Directed:Dear Engineer,

Have you ever accidentally (or on purpose) killed one of your teammates with your sentry gun? If so, was it with the wrangler and was it you?

I hope that it's never happened to you,

An Engie Main

(Who regrettably gets killed more by her sentry than the enemy)

Dear Miss Directed

Ah have done it before but now I know to be really careful and be more mindful of my surroundings don't worry you just have to be more careful good luck

Love the Engineer


	10. Chapter 10

Dear Medic and Heavy,

How would you feel if your classes, were suddenly one day, vice versa?

From ZinFinz.

Dear ZinFinz

That vould be horrible becaush I'm not trained in zhat field I vouldnt even know how to properly use that veapon

Love zhe Medic

Dear ZinFinz

Heavy would kill Heavy's self Heavy would be horrible doktor

Love Heavy


	11. Chapter 11

Keep going its good! ;)

Dear Mercs(all classes),

what is your favorite weapon?

Love,Rub37

Dear Rub37

My favorite weapon is da Sandman its really fun to bonk people and watch them get really mad however I heard their making it weaker and that makes me really mad because it's now going to be pointless

Love da Scout

Dear Rub 37

Mien favorite veapon is the Crusader's Crossbow I love that thing

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rub37

MY FAVORITE IS THE LIBERTY LAUNCHER IT HAS LIBERTY IN THE NAME SO IT'S AUTOMATICALLY THE BEST

Love the Soldier

Dear Rub37

Mmmpphhhfiremmmmphhh!

Love the Pyro

Dear Rub37

My Favorite weapon is the Conniver's Kunai can't beat a weapon that heals you whilst you stab people with it

Love the Spy

Dear Rub37

Heavy loves the Tomislav

Love Heavy

Dear Rub37

You just simply can't beat hitting some bloke with a frying pan it's great because they're like what the heck then Whack! Their skulls are cracked

Love the Sniper

Dear Rub37

My favorite weapon is the Sticky Jumper lad come around a corner and BOOM your no more

Love the Demoman


	12. Chapter 12

This is rlly fun to read. :D I'm enjoying each response.

Dear RED Spy and Sniper,

How come it seems almost prone to the two of you always arguing or getting into fights?

From ZinFinz.

Dear Zinfinz

Have you seen that backstabbing bloke?! He's soooo irritating plus he has a super smart mouth that I just want to smack off!

Love the Sniper

Dear Zinfinz

That stupid Sniper is so dumb he pees in a jar for crying out loud TIOLETS WERE INVENTED A LONG TIME AGO SNIPER plus he thinks he so funny just standing back and sniping people so he's just mad because I stab him and shut him down

Love the Spy


	13. Chapter 13

Arty:Dear Mercs,

What's your favourite colour? Don't worry if it's not your team colour, I won't tell ;)

From Arty

Dear Arty

Its totally blue because that's the same color as my beautiful eyes ;)

Love the Scout

Dear Arty

RED WHITE AND BLUE

Love the Soldier

Dear Arty

I actually enjoy purple mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Arty

Mmmpphhh!

Love the Pyro

Dear Arty

Black

Love the Spy

Dear Arty

Heavy's favorite color is yellow

Love Heavy

Dear Arty

Mien favorite color is red you know like blood

Love the Medic

Dear Arty

My favorite color is green

Love the Demoman

Dear Arty

Ah love orange

Love the Engineer


	14. Chapter 14

Hoovy Heavy:Hey everyone do you guys like the Kazotsky Kick?

Dear Hoovy Heavy

Meh its cool I'd rather do the home run taunt though

Love da Scout

Dear Hoovy Heavy

Yes its pretty fun to do right before or after battles

Love the Spy

Dear Hoovy Heavy

NO IT'S RUSSIAN

Love the Soldier

Dear Hoovy Heavy

Heavy loves the Kazotsky Kick

Love Heavy

Dear Hoovy Heavy

Ah think it's annoying because sometimes those fools don't stop dancing even when it's about to start

Love the Engineer

Dear Hoovy Heavy

Yea its fun ladie

Love the Demoman

Dear Hoovy Heavy

Nien it makes ush look shtupid

Love the Medic

Dear Hoovy Heavy

Mmmppphhh!

Love the Pyro

Dear Hoovy Heavy

Its ok mate I'd rather be sniping tho

Love the Sniper


	15. Chapter 15

Bombnomicon:Yo Soldier why are you so mean to MERASMUS! Its no wonder he keeps trying to kill you considering you trashed and evicted him out of his own castle?

Dear Bombnomicon

BECAUSEI WANTED THAT CASTLE HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A CASTLE THEY'RE HUGE PLUS YOU DON'T TRUST WIZARD LOOKING DUDES FOR ALL YOU KNOW HE COULD BE A PSYCHO MURDERER OR A EVEN WORST A REALITY TV STAR YOU JUST NEVER KNOW

Love the Soldier


	16. Chapter 16

Dear mercs, What's the stupidest thing you've done on the battlefield resulting in your death? LittleWhiteDove

Dear Littlewhitedove

Pfft I'm the scout I don't do stupid things I only succeed

Love da Scout

Dear Littlewhitedove

Ah accidently walked in front of my sentry while it was shooting someone it wasn't ideal

Love the Engineer

Dear Littlewhitedove

I ONCE SHOT A ROCKET TOO CLOSE AND BLEW MYSELF UP

Love the Soldier

Dear Littlewhitedove

I once tripped and fell in a deep hole mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Littlewhitedove

It never got me killed but I once stabbed the wrong person that was pretty dumb

Love the Spy

Dear Littlewhitedove

Well Lassie I once blew myself up with a sticky bomb

Love the Demoman

Dear Littlewhitedove

Shince mien job is to heal people I can't shay I've ever done anything that got me killed

Love the Medic

Dear Littlewhitedove

Heavy once choked on sandvich

Love Heavy

Dear Littlewhitedove

Mmmpphhh!

Love the Pyro


	17. Chapter 17

I love this but can you put a line in between there letters? Scout, how fast are you?. Medic, what was your favorite experiment? And Demo, what is your alcohol limit? Sniper, you are my favorite

Love RoofSCat

Dear RoofSCat

I'm so fast that even a cheetah can't keep up with me because I'm so amazing ;)

Love da Scout

Dear RoofSCat

Mien favorite experiment vas a human cat hybrid I created however I had to terminate that project

Love Zhe Medic

Dear RoofSCat

I can drink ten whiskeys before I get really drunk lad that's why I always keep it on me

Love the Demoman

Dear RoofSCat

Aww thanks mate (ha Scout I'm better than you)

Love the Sniper


	18. Chapter 18

Hello, again Medic how are you and to all of the classes how many brothers/sister do you have? and sniper I give you your favorite cookies!

Love RoofSCat

Dear RoofSCat

I am vell denke for asking how are you? Also I have no siblings

Love zhe Medic

Dear RoofSCat

I have seven brothers however I'm the hottest ;)

Love da Scout

Dear RoofSCat

Heavy has three sisters

Love Heavy

Dear RoofSCat

I also have no siblings and thanks for the cookies mate!

Love the Sniper

Dear RoofSCat

I am an only child lad

Love the Demoman

Dear RoofSCat

Mmmppphhh!

Love the Pyro

Dear RoofSCat

I HAVE NO BROTHERS OR SISTERS ONLY BROTHERS IN ARMS!

Love the Soldier

Dear RoofSCat

Ah I am the only kid

Love the Engineer

Dear RoofSCat

I'm all alone

Love the Spy


	19. Chapter 19

Hey guys :)

I'm a lady and I think you're all great but I like sniper and engie the best. My question is what kind (if any) of music do you like to listen to when you have time off the battlefield?

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

I know you think I'm great how can you not ;) anyways as far as the music I listen to its totally baseball related as long as it has baseball in it then it's fine by me

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

Aww thanks mate but you totally think I'm better than the Engie if you had to pick one right? Haha just kidding mate anyways I listen to classical music

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER IS ALL I LISTEN TO

Love the Soldier

Dear Rikusolo84

That's mighty sweet of you but I'm better than the Sniper my favorite music is country of course oh by the way for those of you who were wonderin my favorite weapon is my level three sentry as long as you keep them spies off nothing really gets past em

Love the Engineer

Dear Rikusolo84

Music is over rated and annoying sho I prefer to just experiment inshtead

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

Mmmpphhringoffiremmmphhh

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

Hey lassie my favorite music is Scottish anything else is just crap

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

Romantic French music is the only way to go it has the ladies all over you ;) (how do you think I got the scout's mom)

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

Heavy loves yodeling

Love Heavy


	20. Chapter 20

Dear mercs except scout, what will you do if scout does not stop talking annoyingly?

PS. Pyro I love you you're my favourite class :)

Love Ripntear045771

Dear Ripntear045771

I would put a sock in his mouth

Love the Sniper

Dear Ripntear045771

Heavy would riddle the baby full of holes

Love Heavy

Dear Ripntear045771

Ah would slap em silly

Love the Engineer

Dear Ripntear045771

Mmmpphhfiremmmpphhh!

Love the Pyro

Dear Ripntear045771

Well lad I would grab his little scout neck and squeeze it until his head pops

Love the Demoman

Dear Ripntear045771

I'd disguise as him and be equally annoying as him PS he's pouting because you left him out

Love the Spy

Dear Ripntear045771

I WOULD BLEW HIM INTO SO MANY BITS THAT THEY WOULD NEED A MICROSCOPE TO SEE HIS PARTICLES

Love the Soldier

Dear Ripntear045711

I vould do shuch horrible experimentations on him zhat his own mother doesn't recognize him

Love zhe Medic

Scout "Screw all of you I'm not annoying and fine Ripntear045771 don't write a letter to me see if I care!"


	21. Chapter 21

Friendly reader:Dear mercs what has been your greatest fear that will haunt you forever?

Dear Friendly reader

My biggest fear is that I will one day be unattractive

Love da Scout

Dear Friendly reader

I WOULD HAVE TO SAY THAT THE THING THAT HAUNTS ME IS ONE DAY I WALKED IN ON THE MEDIC DOING AN EXECISE VIDEO THAT WAS SCARY

Love the Soldier

Dear Friendly reader

My fear is that I will not be a good spy anymore and have to retire

Love the Spy

Dear Friendly reader

Heavy's greatest fear is losing Heavy's family

Love Heavy

Dear Friendly reader

My greatest fear lad is that one day there will be no more alcohol it would be a nightmare

Love the Demoman

Dear Friendly reader

Mmmpphhh!

Love the Pyro

Dear Friendly reader

Well mate I'm afraid of losing my adoptive mom and dad

Love the Sniper

Dear Friendly reader

Mien greatest fear ish that the Pyro vill take hish mask off

Love the Medic

Dear Friendly reader

I reckon dying each and every day starts to wear on one as well as having to kill everyday

Love the Engineer


	22. Chapter 22

Hello, everyone! Cookies to you all! And to you, all where do you come from? What is the one place you always wanted to go to? Scout do you like Miss Pualing and if you do stop flirting with all the girls. Soldier, I am a proud Americain. Sniper, you're still my favorite and Spy gets a backstab. Say hi to Miss Pauling for me!

Love RoofSCat

Dear RoofSCat

Boston duuh I've always wanted to go to the Bahamas and yes I like Miss Paulings and you are like not my mom so I'll do whatever I dang well feel like doing ok

Love da Scout

Dear RoofSCat

I'm from Bee Cave Texas ah have always wanted to go to Alaska an see the northern lights

Love the Engineer

Dear RoofSCat

Aww thanks mate I'm actually from New Zealand but I was raised in Australia I've always wanted to go to Japan

Love the Sniper

Dear RoofSCat

I am from France but I've been to Boston ;) I've been pretty much everywhere so there's not many places I really want to visit plus you get a backstab jerk

Love the Spy

Dear RoofSCat

Mmmpphhh! Mmmpphhh!

Love the Pyro

Dear RoofSCat

I'm from Rottenburg Germany but I've alwaysh vanted to go to England and see the Big Ben

Love zhe Medic

Dear RoofSCat

I AM FROM AMERICA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA US A USA USA USA AND IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO VISIT AMERICA!

Love the Soldier

Dear RoofSCat

I'm from Ullapool Scotland lad but I really want to visit Paris

Love the Demoman

Dear RoofSCat

Heavy is from Russia Heavy wants to go to Egypt and see real desert

Love Heavy


	23. Chapter 23

Hey guys :)

Sniper and I both love the outdoors and the silence that comes with it. Engie and I are big on family and problem solving that's why you two are the best to me. Another question is do you guys ever think what your lives outside of war would be like, and if so what would your lives look like?

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

If I wasn't a mercenary I would be a major league baseball player

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

Yes I do love the outdoors and the silence we should go camping some time mate if I wasn't at war I would most likely just be a hunter I would get me a hunting dog and just go for it mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

Ah do indeed love my family wouldn't you know it if ah wasn't in war ah would be an Engineer may as well use those skills for somethin

Love the Engineer

Dear Rikusolo84

MY WHOLE LIFE IS WAR ONLY WAR I KNOW THEY SAID WORLD WAR II ENDED BUT I DON'T BELIEVE IT NOT ONE BIT!

Love the Soldier

Dear Rikusolo

Mmmppphhhfiremmmphhh!

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

I would brew liquor and make bombs and kill Nessie the lochness monster lassie

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

I would be a spy and look through people's windows and follow them listening in on their conversations

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

Heavy would be farmer

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo

I vould be a shcientist

Love zhe Medic


	24. Chapter 24

XD I can't get enough of these replies.

Dear Pyro,

Why do you write as if you are still in a gas mask?

From Zinfinz.

Dear Zinfinz

Mmmpphh! Mmmpphh! Mmmpphh!

Love the Pyro

Scout "The reason he does that is because he's a freaking freak so we don't bother to ask why he does the things he does plus I doubt he can even write that's probraly all he knows how to say"


	25. Chapter 25

Dear soldier what do you do if for example one of your teammates disobeys your command?

Love Ripntear 045771

Dear Ripntear 045771

I WOULD GO DRILL SERGEANT ON THEM SCREAMING AT THEM AND MAKING THEM DO PUSH UPS UNTIL THEY PUKE THEN I WOULD MAKE THEM GET UP AT FOUR IN THE MORNING AND THEY ONLY GET FIVE MINUTES TO EAT BREAKFAST AND IT'S THE BUDDY SYSTEM IF ONE PERSON MESSES UP THEY ALL PAY

Love the Soldier


	26. Chapter 26

J-P:Dear mercs of RED and BLU,

If you got a week of vacation away from the fighting, where would you go? Who would you go with? Why?

Merçi à tous,

J-P

Dear J-P

I would go home to Boston and see my mom and brothers

Love da Scout

Dear J-P

I would go to Boston with the Scout to see his mom ;)

Love the Spy

Dear J-P

I would go back to Australia to see my family mate I would go alone because you can only stand the others for so long mate

Love the Sniper

Dear J-P

Ah would go on an Alaskan cruise with the Pyro (just to see if he's always a freak)

Love the Engineer

Dear J-P

Heavy would go to Germany with the doktor

Love Heavy

Dear J-P

Mmmpphhh!

Love the Pyro

Dear J-P

I vould go to England to shee the Big Ben

Love zhe Medic

Dear J-P

I would go to a desert and see if I can make the biggest crater ever with my explosives

Love the Demoman

Dear J-P

I WOULD GO ON A NAZI KILLING SPREE FINDING ALL THE REMAINING NAZIS I WOULD GO WITH WHOEVER WANTED TO GO WITH ME

Love the Soldier


	27. Chapter 27

Pyro you are NOT a freak, Sniper what is your biggest kill streak and Heavy what is the most you can lift? Cookies to all classes except scout, you get a kick me sign on your back

Love RoofSCat

Dear RoofSCat

I dare you put a kick me sign on my back we will take this outside!

Love da Scout

Dear RoofSCat

My current record is eighteen kills in one setting mate

Love the Sniper

Dear RoofSCat

Mmmpphhh! Mmpphhh!

Love the Pyro

Dear RoofSCat

Heavy can lift car

Love Heavy


	28. Chapter 28

J-P:Hello again Mercs of RED and BLU,

I couldn't help but wonder, what do you all think of each others responses? Was there any that surprised you?

Bonne journée/soirée,

J-P

Dear J-P

The others are freaking morons so their responses are dumb especially the Pyro since all he says is Mmmpphh

Love da Scout

Dear J-P

The Scout's responses are annoyin because he's so egotistical as far as the others it's fine If that's how they really feel bout it

Love the Engineer

Dear J-P

The only response that shocked me was when the Engineer called his sentry guns his babies that was a little creepy

Love the Spy

Dear J-P

I think the Pyro's responses are boring mate Mmmpphh Mmmpphhh is that all he knows how to say?!

Love the Sniper

Dear J-P

Heavy cares not about teeny men's responses

Love Heavy

Dear J-P

Ladie the others responses are unimportant compared to mine

Love the Demoman

Dear J-P

Mmmpphh! Mmmpphh! Mmmppphhh! Mmmmmmpppppppppppppppphhhhhh

Love the Pyro

Dear J-P

WHO CARES WHAT THE OTHERS THINK ONLY MY OPINION MATTERS

Love the Soldier

Dear J-P

I kinda enjoy sheeing the other's anshers to zhe questions

Love zhe Medic


	29. Chapter 29

Dear mercs Do you guys have any hidden talents you're embarrassed about?

And Scout, are you afraid of rainbows? From LittleWhiteDove

Dear Littlewhitedove

No I'm not afraid rainbows why would I be? I uh *coughs* am really good at dancing

Love da Scout

Dear Littlewhitedove

Other than hunting I can knit but you mustn't tell the others mate! they will tease me

Love the Sniper

Dear Littlewhitedove

Lassie the talent I have is making explosives and making explosives and making explosives

Love the Demoman

Dear Littlewhitedove

I am actually really good at baking but don't tell the others

Love the Spy

Dear Littlewhitedove

Mmmppphhhfiremmmmppphhhh

Love the Pyro

Dear Littlewhitedove

I KNOW WAR WAR WAR WAR AND MORE WAR!

Love the Soldier

Dear Littlewhitedove

I am shecretly really good at video gamesh

Love zhe Medic

Dear Littlewhitedove

Heavy loves interior design

Love Heavy

Dear Littlewhitedove

Ah can sing

Love the Engineer


	30. Chapter 30

Hey guys:)

It's awesome reading your replies to my questions and everyone else's so here's another one. What is your favorite movie right now (that is if u guys get to watch movies nowadays)?

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

Pfft I'm too busy for movies I gotta tend to my fans

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

I really don't watch movies that much I hunt on my off time mate

Love Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

Heavy loves the Dirty Dozen and the first twenty minutes of Rocky IV

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

Mmmppphhhhhmmmmppphhhhh!

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

Mien favorite movie is Dumb and Dumber it remindsh me of zhe Shcout and Sholdier

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

MY FAVORITE MOVIE IS FINDING DORY I CRIED WHEN SHE FOUND HER FAMILY

Love the Soldier

Dear Rikusolo84

I'm too busy killing people to watch movies any down time I get I go to Boston ;)

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

Too busy getting drunk and blowing stuff up Lassie

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

My favorite movie is Hairyspray

Love the Engineer


	31. Chapter 31

It's me again!

Thx for answering me last time! :D

Here's another question for all classes:

What is your favorite hat?

Love,Rub37

Dear Rub37

My favorite hat is the backwards ball cap I look so freaking hot with it on ;)

Love da Scout

Dear Rub37

My favorite hat is the fedora mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Rub37

My favorite hat is the Brown Bomber ladie

Love the Demoman

Dear Rub37

Mien favorite hat is zhe Nunhood

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rub37

Mmmmppphhhhmmmmpppphhhhmmmpppphhhh

Love the Pyro

Dear Rub37

MY FAVORITE HAT IS MY HELMET I HAVE TO PROTECT MY NOGGIN DON'T I

Love the Soldier

Dear Rub37

My favorite hat is the Prinny it's so cute

Love the Engineer

Dear Rub37

I do not need hats my mask is all I need to have the ladies busting down my door

Love the Spy

Dear Rub37

Heavy's favorite is Dadliest Catch

Love Heavy


	32. Chapter 32

Hey guys :)

What's your favorite food to eat and your favorite drink? Mine is a good burger and soda as a treat every now and then.

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

I love a Coney Island hotdog and cherry coke it's really an underrated flavor

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

I love a good beef stew and a cup of iced tea mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

You can't beat some homemade meatloaf green beans and mashed potatoes with a glass of lemonade

Love the Engineer

Dear Rikusolo84

I enjoy crepe's in the morning with a mug of joe

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

I would blow someone up for a Shepard's Pie with a Scotch can't beat it lassie

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

Mmmmppphhhhhhhhhhmmmppppphhhhhhhh!

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

I LOVE MRES NO COOKING NO MESS INSTANT MEAL GATORADE IS THE ONLY DRINK

Love the Soldier

Dear Rikusolo84

I love shome bratwurst vith a pumpkin beer it's to die for

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

Heavy's favorite is cabbage rolls with milkshake


	33. Chapter 33

Hi I . . . got nothing but hello have a good day To the author great story!

Love RoofSCat

Dear RoofScat

Thanks I'm really enjoying writing this story it's been a boat load of fun I love to answer the different questions to the best of my knowledge

-FreakyFairyKitten


	34. Chapter 34

Hello again!

Dear Soldier,

The commies of North Korea have threatened USA of nuclear war!

They can nuke Guam,Hawaii and Alaska!

SO SOLDIER HERE'S MY QUESTION:WILL YOU PROTECT USA FROM NORTH KOREA?

Love Rub37

Dear Rub37

WHAT! FEAR NOT OF COURSE I WILL PROTECT YOU GUYS FROM NORTH KOREA IN FACT I'LL GO PAY THEM A "VISIT" NO BODY THREATENS MY COUNTRY THEY GOT A LOT OF CRIT ROCKETS IN THEIR FUTURE

Love the Soldier


	35. Chapter 35

J-D:Re-hello again mercs of RED and BLU,

This might become a habit of mine. . .

If you were annoyed/angry/enraged at another merc, what hat/cosmetic would you force them to wear and in what color?

On a side note, have any of you, besides Spy, ever been to France?

Au revoir!

J-D

Dear J-D

I would totally make them wear a frikin awesome ninjahood in pink as hell and no I've never been to France who would go to France it sucks

Love da Scout

Dear J-D

I would make them wear the Christmas tree hat and ugly sweater in a hideous lime green mate and no I've never been to France before

Love the Sniper

Dear J-D

I would make them wear that stupid deadliest catch hat in neon orange

Love the Spy

Dear J-D

Mmmpphhhhh!

Love the Pyro

Dear J-D

I WOULD FORCE THEM TO WEAR NUNHOOD IN A BLACK SO THEY LOOK LIKE FREAK CULTIST AND HOPEFULLY GET ARRESTED IV'E NEVER BEEN TO FRANCE THE US IS ALL I NEED

Love the Soldier

Dear J-D

Lad I'd make them put on a yellow sidekick's mask and follow me around doing my work for me I've been to France once on vacation

Love the Demoman

Dear J-D

Heavy would make babies hold the balloonacorn and make them tell people that it's pet so that people think babies crazy Heavy hates France

Love Heavy

Dear J-D

Ah would make them wear purple hard hats and say their workin for Barney and ah have never been to France

Love the Engineer

Dear J-D

I'd make zhem all vear that diver's helmet sho it vill annoy zhe crap out of zhem and I've been to France once

Love zhe Medic


	36. Chapter 36

:Dear Mercenaries;

What's it like to die?

-CuriousFan

Dear CuriousFan

Its awful

Love da Scout

Dear CuriousFan

Its scary you never get used to it no matter how many times it happens mate

Love the Sniper

Dear CuriousFan

It's something else definitely

Love the Spy

Dear CuriousFan

Its not pleasant at all rather its quick or slow and painful lad that's for sure

Love the Demoman

Dear CuriousFan

Mmmmmmmmmmmppppppphhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

Love the Pyro

Dear CuriousFan

Heavy hates dying

Love the Heavy

Dear CuriousFan

DYING SUCKS WHEN YOUR TRYING TO SUCCEED BECAUSE THAT USAULLY MEANS YOUR FAILING AND FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION

Love the Soldier

Dear CuriousFan

Ah would say it's still not fun I hope you don't find out what it's like for a long time yet

Love the Engineer

Dear CuriousFan

It's shtill human nature to be afraid of death no matter how often it happensh

Love zhe Medic


	37. Chapter 37

Question time!

Dear mercs(all of them):

Would you rather,

Become a MvM robot version of yourself or a female human version of yourself?

Love,Rub37

Dear Rub37

I would never want to be a woman NO WAY being a woman would suck big time I'd rather be a robot thank you very much and what do you mean human we are humans dummy

Love da Scout

Dear Rub37

I would rather be a robot mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Rub37

Robot

Love the Spy

Dear Rub37

Mmmmmmmpppppppphhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Love the Pyro

Dear Rub37

I WOULD RATHER BE A ROBOT THAN A WOMAN IF I WAS A WOMAN THEN I COULDN'T FIGHT IN THE WAR AND THAT'S JUST NOT GOING TO HAPPEN

Love the Soldier

Dear Rub37

I'd prefer to be a robot lad

Love the DemoMAN

Dear Rub37

I'll take the robot

Love the Engineer

Dear Rub37

Heavy will take first option

Love the Heavy

Dear Rub37

Robot

Love zhe Medic


	38. Chapter 38

I'M SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN A FEW DAYS I HAD A FAMILY EMERGENCY MY GRANDPA HAD A STROKE PRAYERS WILL BE APPRECIATED WITH THAT SAID LETS OPEN SOME LETTERS!

Hey guys :)

Halloween is coming soon. If you could turn into a supernatural being for the entire month of October what would you be and why?

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

I would be a Vampire that way women will drool over me like they did Edward in Twilight

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

I would want to be a zombie because let's face it mate zombies are cool

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

I would be a ghost so I can be even sneakier and go in the others' rooms at night and scare the croissants out of them

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

I think I would be a werewolf lassie so that I can howl real loudly for the sole purpose of annoying the crap out of everyone

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

Mmmppphhhhhhhhhhmmmmmppppmmmmmmppppmmm

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

I WOULD BE CAPTAIN AMERICA!

Love the Soldier

Dear Rikusolo84

*Rolls eyes* Soldier is stupid anyways Heavy would be werewolf so Heavy could claw baby mens' guts out

Love Heavy

If I could turn into anything I vould be a vampire too because mosht vampiresh are German sho I have to fit zhe bill

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

Can ah be a dragon and burn the Spy?...no ok then ah would be a zombie so I could bit the others and turn them into zombies as well

Love the Engineer


	39. Chapter 39

J-D:Bonjour mercs of RED and BLU,

I hope that you are all doing well enough under your current circumstances.

If you don't mind me asking, what is your favourite and least favourite type of joke?

Thank you all for humouring me for so long,

J-D

Dear J-D

Knock knock jokes rock because they are annoying as crap but my least favorite ones are yo mama jokes you don't talk about nobody's mama its grounds to gettin stomped

Love da Scout

Dear J-D

I prefer to pull pranks on people its funnier when it actually happens to them and knock knock jokes are the worst because the annoying scout uses them way too much mate just listen to his jokes for two seconds and you'll want to rip your ears off

Love the Sniper

Dear J-D

I'm not much of a joker except the time I tricked the scout into wearing a dress hahahaha that was sooo funny

Love the Spy

Dear J-D

THERES NO JOKING IN WAR JOKES GET YOU SCREAMED ON AND THEN PUSH UPS UNTIL YOU VOMIT!

Love the Soldier

Dear J-D

Mmmmmppppphhhhhhfiremmmmmmpppphhhh

Love the Pyro

Dear J-D

My favorite is….what twere we talking about again lad?

Love a vey very very drunk Demoman

Dear J-D

Heavy thinks jokes are stupid

Love the Heavy

Dear J-D

Zhe Medic musht be sherious no joking hahahaha except jokes about fashion thosh are ok

Love zhe Medic

Dear J-D

Shucks its hard to pick one my favorite joke of all time is

Father "son hand me that dopted over there"

Son " whats a dopted?"

Father "you are!"

Hahahaha ah know its kinda mean but funny

Love the Engineer


	40. Chapter 40

What are your opinions on New Zealand, what do you know about it and have any of you been to New Zealand?

Love Ultidragonlord

Dear Ultidragonlord

Never been its not Boston it sucks nuff said

Love da Scout

Dear Ultidragonlord

I was only there shortly after my birth then I ended up in Australia mate I don't know much about it but I should go someday since its where I was born mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Ultidragonlord

I only know that its one of the riches countries in the world I went there once on a job

Love the Spy

Dear Ultidragonlord

Oh oh oh ah've been its really purdy there I know that did you know that Lord Of The Rings was filmed there?  
Love the Engineer

Dear Ultidragonlord

Does it have good ale? if so then it's a beautiful place to me

Love the Demoman

Dear Ultidragonlord

NEW ZEALAND IS STUPID I ONLY LIKE AMERICA ALL OTHER COUNTRIES SUCK NEVER BEEN NEVER GUNNA GO IF I DON'T HAVE TO

Love the Soldier

Dear Ultidragonlord

Mmmmppphhhhfire fire firemmmmmmmppphhhh

Love the Pyro

Dear Ultidragonlord

Heavy has never been but Heavy heard its pretty there

Love Heavy

Dear Ultidragonlord

Germany and vhere ever vere needed that'ss zhe only plashes I've been

Love zhe Medic


	41. Chapter 41

:Dear Mercenaries of Tenfort;

I'm doing a class assignment that involves gathering information from one of the most dangerous people today. My subject was mercenaries and as fun as this project is, it's kinda scary (no offense). So since I'm gonna be writing to you guys for a while, I might as well start with the first Question:

"What's is like?"

Can't wait to see the responses

From; Yellow

(Ps: the reason I'm not giving out my name is for identification protection. School Rules)

Dear Yellow

Well only ask me about it the others are retards and they will make you fail your class anyways it's very demanding that's for sure and its Teufort

Love da Scout

Dear Yellow

Well we each have our different jobs mate it doesn't do anything specific just whatever the person that hired us wants

Love the Medic

Dear Yellow

Ah think it's really hard both physically and mentally it's not for everyone

Love the Engineer

Dear Yellow

Just get up in front of the class and say it's a job so secretive that nobody really knows about it and you'll pass

Love the Spy

Dear Yellow

Mmmppphhhhmmmpphhhhmmmhhpppppfiremmmpppph

Love the Pyro

Dear Yellow

Well lad or lass its pays really really well I mean look the Spy is wearing a nine thousand dollar suit

Love the Demoman

Dear Yellow

I'M IN IT FOR AMERICA USA USA USA USA!

Love the Soldier

Dear Yellow

Vell go out and ve do vhat ever asshingment ve get be it fight a war for shomeone or go to zhe shtore and by them a gallon of milk

Love zhe Medic

Dear Yellow

Heavy thinks it's stupid job Heavy does it to take care of family

Love Heavy


	42. Chapter 42

I have a good one.

Dear mercs(all of them),

Which Freak Fortress 2 Freak would you fight and why?

Love,Rub37

Dear Rub37

Blind Femscout las time she kicked me in the nuts and called me a jerk does she have any idea who she's talking to I need revenge

Love da Scout

Dear Rub37

No NO I don't wanna talk about it TO MANY FREAKS and I thought the Pyro was bad

Love the Spy

Dear Rub37

00

Love the Sniper

Dear Rub37

I'LL FIGHT THEM ALL I'M NOT SCARED OF THEM

Love the Soldier

Dear Rub37

Necromanncer no one likes Necromancers their ugly and their freaks lad freaks

Love the Demoman

Dear Rub37

Mmmmmpppphhhmmmmmmpppphhhhmmmmphhhh

Love the Pyro

Dear Rub37

Heavy needs therapy after that…nightmare *runs away crying*

Love Heavy

Dear Rub37

Zhe Medic vill gladly fight them all sho he can have more experiments

Love the Medic

Dear Rub37

Ah would fight any Engineer based ones just to show em that I'm the only Engineer around here

Love the Engineer


	43. Chapter 43

Tf2freak:*rolls eyes* this idea is well over used not mention you suck at getting the characters right they are so ooc it's rediculous you obviously don't know how to write because this story is boring and your responses are stupid and unrealistic plus your totally just pulling crap out of your a** have you ever actually played the game it doesn't seem like it don't be mad that your story sucks because I know you'll probaly cry like a baby when you read this review let me know when you write a story worth reading sweetheart and stick to playing with your little dollies because it seems like a five year old wrote this

Tf2freak

Dear Tf2freak

Meanie weinie I'm telling my mom on you! Lol jk your certainly entitled to your opinion and I'm really sorry you feel that way I readily admit that I am not always the best when it comes to responses but I certainly try my best and yes I have played the game even if not for very long I appreciate you commenting on my story and reading it as well even if you didn't enjoy it have a nice day ;)

-FreakyFairyKitten


	44. Chapter 44

SORRY AGAIN FOR NOT UPDATING PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP ON ME MY GRANDPA IS REALLY SICK OUR FAMILY IS GOING THROUGH IT RIGHT NOW SO PLEASE KEEP US IN YOUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS THANKS IN ADVANCE NOW LET'S ANSWER SOME LETTERS!

Hello, again! I finally got some questions. For everyone What do you do if a player kills you over 6 times and how would you retaliate? Sniper love you! (like an Idol)

Love RoofSCat

Dear RoofSCat

I would keep taking their cap over and over again because it makes them so mad then I would get the Sandman and keep bonking them and killing them over and over

Love da Scout

Dear RoofSCat

Awww I'm sure you're a lovely person as well mate ;) anyways I would Jarate their beds

Love the Sniper

Dear RoofSCat

I would put laxatives in their food and laugh as they crap their brains out all night long

Love the Spy

Dear RoofSCat

Ah would put sentry guns at every entrance and exit so that whenever they come or go they get shot up

Love the Engineer

Dear RoofSCat

Mmmmpppphhhhhhhfiremmmmmmpppphhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmpppppppphhhhhhh

Love the Pyro

Dear RoofSCat

I would leave sticky bombs at the entrance to their bedrooms lad

Love the Demoman

Dear RoofSCat

Vell you know I vould jusht make them mien experiment

Love zhe Medic

Dear RoofSCat

Heavy would beat teeny man to death and eat sandvich on their body

Love Heavy

Dear RoofSCat

I WOULD STUFF FIRECRAKERS UP THEIR BUTTS AND LIGHT THEM

Love the Soldier


	45. Chapter 45

:Dear Mercenaries of Tenfort;

Wow! You guys actually responded! I though my letter got lost in the mail delivery or something. Anyways, your guys names are funny. Are they your job names? Also, should I ask certain questions from certain people, because someone named Scout asked that I only ask him, so? So many questions to ask now! But, I'll just wait for your response to continue on.

-Yellow

(Ps, I don't know if this breaks one of the rules, but I am a "Lassie

Love Yellow

Dear Yellow

I don't even know where to start with you first of all those aren't our actual names my name isn't scout that's just my class my name is Jeremy second of all its TEUFORT third of all yes ask me all the questions

Love da Scout

Dear Yellow

No don't listen to him mate he's a jerk

Love the Sniper

Dear Yellow

You'd be well advised not to listen to the Scout just ask everyone

Love the Spy

Dear Yellow

Ah reckon the Scout will answer your question properly but still get multiple opinions because the Scout seems to think he's all that in a bag of potato chips

Love the Engineer

Dear Yellow

Mmmmmppppppphhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmppppppppppppppphhhhhhhhhh

Love the Pyro

Dear Yellow

Lassie I'm telling ye don't listen to Scout if ye know what's good for ye

Love the Demoman

Dear Yellow

Zhe Scout is almost as dumb as zhe Soldier sho please don't rely on him

Love zhe Medic

Dear Yellow

WHO CARES ABOUT ANYTHING AS LONG AS WE HAVE AMERICA

Love the Soldier

Dear Yellow

Heavy will help baby

Love Heavy


	46. Chapter 46

2 questions for soldier!

Dear Soldier,

1)Why you hate Merasmus so much?

2)Will you make peace with him?

Love,Rub37

Dear Rub37

I HATE HIM BECAUSE HE'S A COMPLETE IDIOT HAVE YOU SEEN THE MAN AND NOOOOOO I WILL NEVER MAKE PEACE WITH HIM I HOPE HE DIES

Love the Soldier


	47. Chapter 47

Hey guys :)

First off, dear freakyfairykitten I think this story is awesome because I love your take on all the mercs and I was wondering if you would consider adding miss Paulding, saxton hale, and the administrator to this (it's ok if you don't it's your choice of course just a thought). Anyway my question to the mercs is: what is your favorite season and why? Mine is spring because it's not too hot or too cold and I love the rain.

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

Thanks I'm glad you're enjoying it and yes I would love to add Miss Pauling and Saxton Hale and the Administrator so as of now you can write to them as well

Love Freaky

Dear Rikusolo84

My favorite season is summer you can't beat going to a baseball game during the summer

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

Mine is spring as well everything is blooming and its just so full of life all the baby animals mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

Mine is winter it's so beautiful and I love the snow

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

Mmmmpppppppphhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmpppppppppphhhhhhhhhhh

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

Ah love fall ah love when all the leaves start changing colors it's so purdy but the best part pumpkin everything

Love the Engineer

Dear Rikusolo84

Mine is spring to lassie all the rain showers plus it starts warming up

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

Heavy loves winter since Russia is cold all the time

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

I love Shummer as vell is doesn't get too brutally hot in Germany sho it is perfect for svimming

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

MY FAVORITE IS SUMMER BECAUSE AMERICA'S BIRTHDAY IS IN SUMMER BARBEQUES SWIMMING FIREFLIES

Love the Soldier


	48. Chapter 48

Who is the most strategic and intelligent member of the team? Also I LIVE IN NZ, YOU MOCK MY COUNTRY (well not all of you)

Love Ultidragonlord

Dear Ultidragonlord

Yea I mocked your country so what? what are you going to do about it? And it's obviously me

Love da Scout

Dear Ultidragonlord

That would most likely be the Engineer mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Ultidragonlord

Engineer because he has to know where to place the sentry guns even if I just sap them hehe

Love the Spy

Dear Ultidragonlord

I will say Engineer

Love the Demoman

Dear Ultidragonlord

Mmmmppppphhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Love the Pyro

Dear Ultidragonlord

AMERICA IS THE ONLY COUNTRY SO THAT 'S TO BAD THAT YOU LIVE IN NEW ZEALAND THE STRATEGIC IS ME WHO ELSE KEEPS THESE MAGGOTS ON TRACK

Love the Soldier

Dear Ultidragonlord

Engineer

Love zhe Medic

Dear Ultidragonlord

Engineer

Love Heavy

Dear Ultidragonlord

Ah reckon it's me

Love the Engineer


	49. Chapter 49

Dear mercs on the red team!

Whispers: My favourite team

What is your favourite song? And by mean song I meant the modern songs today.

Also I think I maybe first to say thus but, pyro can you peel off your mask just by showing your lips at least I wanted to hear you say something without a 'Mmph' don't worry I won't tell anyone.

Love Ripntear 045771

Dear Ripntear045771

Look sister we mercs don't got time for music

Love da Scout

Dear Ripntear045771

Um *gulp* I can't stand the crap you guys call music nowadays mate sorry

Love the Sniper

Dear Ripntear045771

I will try listening to the songs you guys have today but I prefer classic french romance ;) 

Love the Spy

Dear Ripntear045771

THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER

Love the Soldier

Dear Ripntear045771

Medic!

Love the Pyro

Dear Ripntear045771

Miley Cyrus' Wrecking Ball

Love the Demoman

Dear Ripntear045771

Simpleton Demoman would say that but Heavy likes Rihanna

Love Heavy

Dear Ripntear045771

Ah love Country Boy

Love the Engineer

Dear Ripntear045771

Do not call for zhe Medic if you don't need him it's rude anyvays mien favorite shong is Stayin Alive

Love zhe Medic


	50. Chapter 50

J-D:Rebonjour mercs of RED and BLU,

Another, definitely not final, question to you all. Firstly, does Medic like to use the Crusader's Crossbow? Secondly, does he enjoy using it to heal you instead of using the medigun? If so, why do you think that is? Medic, do you prefer using a syringe gun or the Crusader's Crossbow?

Thank you and have a wonderfully needle-free day,

J-D

Dear J-D

Why don't you ask him that how the heck am I supposed to know sheesh I'm not a frikin mind reader

Love da Scout

Dear J-D

I think he likes using it he said it was his favorite weapon mate

Love the Sniper

Dear J-D

If I had to guess he would prefer to use the crossbow because it would hurt more

Love the Spy

Dear J-D

Ah reckon he would use the medigun it would be easier

Love the Engineer

Dear J-D

Mmmmmmpppppppppppphhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Love the Pyro

Dear J-D

No one has an idea what that doctor is thinking

Love the Demoman

Dear J-D

WHO CARES WHAT THE DOCTOR PREFERS AS LONG AS HE GETS THE JOB DONE

Love the Soldier

Dear J-D

Heavy thinks he prefers Crossbow

Love Heavy

Dear J-D

I prefer to use zhe Crusader's Crossbow and yes the Spy is right it's more painful

Love zhe Medic


	51. Chapter 51

Hey guys :)

To the mercs what's your favorite holiday and why? Same goes to Saxton Hale, Administrator, and Miss Pauling. Also why do you only have one day off Miss Pauling?

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

My favorite holiday is Valentine's day because all the ladies drool over me and send me cards and flowers and chocolate

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

Mine is Christmas mate my favorite part is going home to the family and having Christmas dinner with them and just enjoying each other's company can't beat it

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

Mine is Halloween so I can scare the crap out of children I hide behind the bushes and wait for them to come to my house then I uncloak and scare them hahahaha never gets old

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

Mine is New Years lassie so I can get as drunk as I want without the others whining that I drink too much

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

Mmmmmmmpppppppphhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmpppppphhhhhhfiremmmmmppppphh

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

Mien ish Oktoberfest you know vhy I don't even have to explain vhy

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY IS INDEPENDENCE DAY FOR OBVIOUS REASONS IT'S AMERICA'S BIRTHDAY

Love the Soldier

Dear Rikusolo84

Heavy loves Thanksgiving so much food! *drools*

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

Ah fancy Christmas it's just such a joyful time of year everyone is lighthearted and you get to be with the people you love

Love the Engineer

Dear Rikusolo84

I hate all holidays don't ask why or I'll make you go missing

Hate the Administrator

Dear Rikusolo84

I don't get to enjoy holidays because I only get one day off why you ask? Because the Administrator is an OVER WORKING JERK! Sorry lost hold of myself there

Love Miss Pauling

Dear Rikusolo84

Thanksgiving is the best mate you get to eat until you go KAPOW

Love Saxton Hale


	52. Chapter 52

Dear mercs, are you afraid of the administrator? If so then what did she do that scared you? If not, why?

Love Ripntear045771

Dear Ripntear045771

Dude she has threatened to kill our entire families that's why moron

Love da Scout

Dear Ripntear045771

She threatens to kill us and make us kill eachother's families mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Ripntear045771

I'm not afraid of that old hag (do not tell her I said that ever like seriously I'll pay you)

Love the Spy

Dear Ripntear045771

Just talk to her for two seconds and you'll understand lad

Love the Demoman

Dear Ripntear045771

Mmmmpppppppphhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….

Love the Pyro

Dear Ripntear045771

THAT WOMAN HAS ISSUES SHE'S SICK AND TWISTED SHE NEEDS HELP SERIOUSLY SHE NEEDS HELP

Love the Soldier

Dear Ripntear045771

She doesn't care that ve die and get sheriously injured everyday

Love zhe Medic

Dear Ripntear045771

Heavy fears no man or woman (except Pyro)

Love Heavy

Dear Ripntear045771

That psycho woman is crazy as surely as she is old

Love the Engineer


	53. Chapter 53

What do you prefer, Supernatural or Fantasy creatures... also, Scout if you're so smart then what is the most unstable element on the periodic table... or are you too dumb?

Love Ultidragonlord

Dear Ultidragonlord

Dumb huh we will take this outside I will knock you so hard on your butt you'll be seeing stars ok you do not call the Scout dumb and live to brag about it Ps Francium freakin moron

Love da Scout

Dear Ultidragonlord

Fantasy mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Ultidragonlord

Supernatural

Love the Spy

Dear Ultidragonlord

Supernatural

Love the Demoman

Dear Ultidragonlord

Mmmppppppppppppppppphhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Love the Pyro

Dear Ultidragonlord

WHO CARES ABOUT CREATURES AMERICA IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS GOT THAT

Love the Soldier

Dear Ultidragonlord

Fantasy

Love zhe Medic

Dear Ultidragonlord

Supernatural

Love Heavy

Dear Ultidragonlord

Supernatural

Love the Engineer


	54. Chapter 54

Dear Mercs,

Would you rather,

Be dominated by everyone on a server or be alone everytime on a server?

Love,Rub37

Dear Rub37

This question is retarded because I'm the Scout everyone loves me and I don't get dominated

Love da Scout

Dear Rub37

I would rather be dominated nobody likes being alone mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Rub37

Dominated

Love the Spy

Dear Rub37

I'd rather be dominated lad

Love the Demoman

Dear Rub37

Mmmmmpppppppppppppppphhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhhhhhhhhh

Love the Pyro

Dear Rub37

I WOULD RATHER BE ALONE THAN BE DOMINATED BY THOSE MAGGOTS

Love the Soldier

Dear Rub37

I Vould rather be dominated than be alone

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rub37

Alone

Love Heavy

Dear Rub37

Ah reckon I'd rather be dominated

Love the Engineer


	55. Chapter 55

J-D:Bonjour mercs of RED and BLU, Administrator, Miss Pauling and FreakyFairyKitten,

Firstly, I'm sorry to hear that your Grandpa's sick. I hope that he gets better soon.

Secondly, welcome to the roster Administrator and Miss Pauling. I'd like to propose a thought experiment. If you all could, how would you help FreakyFairyKitten and family?

J'espère qu'il se rétablira vite and have a more relaxing and hope-filled week,

J-D

P.S. Long-distance hug and well-wishes headed your way

Dear J-D

Awwww thank you very much your gunna make me cry thankfully he is doing a little better

Love Freaky

Dear J-D

I would walk up to her and open my arms when she comes to give me a hug I'd say hahahah you thought so get over it freakin moron relatives get sick all the time without you having to go and whine about it and make everyone feel bad for you what makes her so special that she deserves our time huh?

Love da Scout

Dear J-D

I would send them a card mate

Love the Sniper

Dear J-D

I'll stab her in the back problem solved she won't be sad anymore

Love the Spy

Dear J-D

I'll give her a drink

Love the Demoman

Dear J-D

I could help her Grandpa hehehe

Love zhe Medic

Dear J-D

TOO BAD MAGGOT DO YOU THINK THE ENEMY CARES THAT YOUR GRANDPA IS SICK THIS IS WAR

Love the Soldier

Dear J-D

Heavy cares not about teeny baby's papa

Love Heavy

Ah would cook them a meal so they wouldn't have to worry

Love the Engineer

Dear J-D

Mmmmppphhhhfiremmmmmpppphhhhatsmmmmmmmmmmppphhhhmanncommmmppppphhhh

Love the Pyro

Dear J-D

I don't give a flying crap about her or her family like at all in fact I'll kill her and her family if it will get her to shut up about it because no one cares there happy

Love the Administrator

Dear J-D

I'm sorry I'm much too busy to help

Love Miss Pauling


	56. Chapter 56

:Dear Mercenaries of Tenfort;

I'm getting a lot of mixed messages, so here's what I'll do. The questions will be directed towards Scout (or Jeremy) BUT other mercenaries have the will to also answer as well (fair?). Anyways, with that system now, I might as well just get with more questions. Did you always wanted to be a mercenary? Or in some way wanted to do with the name of your jobs, or did you wanted to do something else. Oops, I'm running out of ink, I guess I'll have to save more question for the next one. Thanks for reading.

-Yellow

(Ps, I'm also getting messages that I should stop mailing letters you guys? Is that bad or is you inbox getting too full?)

Dear Yellow

TEUFORT FOR GOODNESS SAKES! they saw my amazing skills and that's why I became the Scout by being so freakin awesome at running it just worked out for that occasion the only reason I learned to run that fast is so I can beat people up faster than my brothers who knew it would come in handy some day

Love da Scout


	57. Chapter 57

Hey guys:)

Dear Freaky I'm glad your grandpa is doing better and I would like to know which merc would you marry, kill, and turn into your favorite animal and keep as a pet until the day you die (one merc for each category). Miss Pauling if you had all the time in the world to do anything and everything you wanted to without working for the Administrator what would you do and why? Hey RED team, would you rather be able to see the future or be able to travel to the future?

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

Thanks! And to answer your question the merc I would marry if I had to pick one it would probably be the Sniper the one I would kill would totally be the Scout and I'd turn the Spy into my favorite animal (which is a dog)

Love Freaky

Dear Rikusolo84

OMG if I had all the time in the world I would go on a never ending cruise around the world so I can relax forever and never have to work again

Love Miss Pauling

Dear Rikusolo84

I would rather see the future so I can see if Miss Pauling ever marries me though I'm sure she totally does ;)

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

I would rather travel to the future hopefully in the future the war is over mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

Mmmmmmmmmmpppppppppphhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmppppppppppphhhhhhhhhmmmmppppppphhhh

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

I'd prefer to see the future that way if I don't like it I can blow myself up lass

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

I vould travel to the future to shee if ve have flying carsh

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

I would travel to the future and backstab all the other mercs hahaha I'll be legendary

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

Ah would rather see the future hopefully it'd brighter than the present

Love the Engineer

Dear Rikusolo84

Is there still Sandviches in future?

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

I WOULD TRAVEL TO THE FUTURE TO SEE IF THE WAR IS STILL GOING ON IN THE FUTURE IF SO THEN I WOULD FIGHT IN THE FUTURE AND THE PRESENT

Love Soldier


	58. Chapter 58

Hey guys:)

I completely understand why you would go on that kind of cruise Pauling the Administrator is a slave driver. To the mercs what is your favorite animal and why? Hey Freaky I like including you in my questions. I wanna know what is your favorite season, holiday, movie, food and drink, and music?

Love the Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

Mine is a cat I had one as a kid (although she was always mad at me)

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

Mine is a horse I also owned one as a kid mate I just think they're so cool

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

My favorite animal is a chameleon because they also disguise themselves

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

I love dogs lass because they truly are man's best friend

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

Mmmmmmpppppppppppphhhhhhhhhhhhfiremppppppppppppppphhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

MY FAVORITE ANIMAL IS LEUTINANT BITES HE NEVER TALKS BACK AND HE ALWAYS DOES WHAT I SAY

Love the Soldier

Dear Rikusolo84

Mien is a dove and it'sh not jusht becaush I own one it's because they are sho pretty

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

Heavy loves bears they are soo strong like Heavy

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

Ah fancy dogs they truly are magnificent creatures

Love the Engineer

Dear Rikusolo84

Aww I enjoy talking to you too ^^ My favorite season is Spring its beautiful my favorite holiday is Christmas I'm not much into movies but I do watch them occasionally and I admit I usually like the kiddie movies my favorite food is Spaghetti my favorite drink is Root Beer and my favorite music is Christian music it gives me hope and really makes my life brighter (not that it's bad or anything) I ask the same of you what kinds of things do you enjoy?

Love Freaky


	59. Chapter 59

Dear mercs

I am just curious, out of all of you who would you rather screw, marry, and kill? P.S. the medic is awesome

-MiRaClE-Bro

Dear -MiRaCIE-Bro

I would marry and screw Miss Pauling and kill the Pyro

Love da Scout

Dear -MiRaCIE-Bro

Um I wouldn't marry any of those blokes EVER! However mate I would gladly kill the Spy

Love the Sniper

Dear -MiRaCIE-Bro

I'm already seeing someone so the others are out of luck but I would kill the Pyro because he always blows my cover

Love the Spy

Dear -MiRaCIE-Bro

WHAT!? I WOULD NEVER THAT'S NEVER! MARRY OR SCREW ANY OF THOSE MAGGOTS I TOO AM ALREADY SEEING SOMEONE I WOULD KILL THE HEAVY THOUGH

Love the Soldier

Dear -MiRaCIE-Bro

Mmmmpppppppppppp Mmmppppppppphhh!

Love the Pyro

Dear -MiRaCIE-Bro

I Vuoldnt marry or screw them if they vere zhe lasht people on Earth however the Shniper I vould gladly kill P.S Awww Denke

Love zhe Medic

Dear -MiRaCIE-Bro

Heavy cares not about teeny men but Sniper would have to go

Love Heavy

Dear -MiRaCIE-Bro

00 ah would never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever EVER be romantically involved with the other mercs never ever but the Spy must die (hehehe like my rhyme)

Love the Engineer

Dear -MiRaCIE-Bro

Well lad I must say this question made me throw up I hate the other mercs (except Soldier) and would never shag them ye got that now as fer who I'd kill that would be the Scout

Love the Demoman


	60. Chapter 60

Hey guys :)

Would you rather be in a dancing competition or a singing contest and have you guys heard the rap about each of you called "Meet the Crew" by JT Machima? If you haven't go listen to it and tell me what y'all think about it please.

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

I'd rather be in a dancing competition have you seen my moves? I mean come on they're amazing and girl does it look like we have time for your videos

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

I'd rather sing mate I bet with my accent it would sound awesome plus I readily admit that I sing in the shower and I will check the video out when I get a minute…oh hold on I have to go snipe some bloke

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

I would rather dance I have plenty of practice I used to take Scout's mom dancing good times good times I watched the video and I found it interesting to say the least

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

Mmmmmppppppppppphhhhhhfiremmmmmppppppphhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

Lass I watched the video I enjoyed it I would rather dance than sing I can't sing like at all

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

I WOULD RATHER SING WHO DO YOU THINK SINGS THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER EVERYDAY BEFORE THE BATTLE I ALSO I EXCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE TO WATCH THIS VIDEO

Love the Soldier

Dear Rikusolo84

Vell I am a great dancer sho I vould rather do zhat I vould vin for shure and I watched the video….uhhhhhh

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

Heavy is great dancer how do you watch videos?

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

Ah would rather sing I do it every day just can't help it sometimes ah would love to watch it I'm sorry I've been very busy but ah will when ah get a chance

Love the Engineer

P.S I HOPE I DIDN'T OFFEND YOU BY ASKING THOSE QUESTIONS I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE FRIENDLY IF I DID THEN I'M SORRY

-Freaky


	61. Chapter 61

Note:I accidentaly pressed post review before finishing it X(

Alright mercs here's my que...

Merasmus:MUAHAHA! MERASMUS THE WIZARD HAS COME FOR YOUR DOOM!

Oh oh merasmus is here!

Dear mercs(all)How will you defeat Merasmus?

Love Rub37

Dear Rub37

I would bash his head in with my bat

Love da Scout

Dear Rub37

I would stand really far off and then put a nice bullet right in his brain mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Rub37

I would backstab him

Love the Spy

Dear Rub37

Mmmmmmfiremmmmmmmppppppppph

Love the Pyro

Dear Rub37

I WOULD BEAT HIM SENSELESS THEN KEEP HIM IN MY BASEMENT AND STARVE HIM AND BEAT HIM UNTIL HE GOES SO CRAZY THAT HE LICKS WALLS THEN I WOULD LET HIM OUT AND JUST WHEN HE THINKS HE'S FREE I WOULD SHOOT HIM WITH A ROCKET POW! PROBLEM SOLVED *blows on rocket launcher*

Love the Soldier

Dear Rub37

Lad I would leave stickys by his room then when he goes in I'll blow him to bits

Love the Demoman

Dear Rub37

I vould experiment in him until he's just to broken for life then I'd "medically" terminate him

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rub37

Heavy would shoot tiny man until he's being ripped to shreds like paper

Love Heavy

Dear Rub37

*lays back on beach chair* Ah would simply let my sentry gun do it for me

Love the Engineer


	62. Chapter 62

Would you consider each other teammates or the brothers that grate on your nerves but you still care about them or brothers in arms?

P.S. Sorry I haven't read this in a while.

Love RoofSCat

Dear RoofSCat

Teammates I don't really care about them like at all

Love da Scout

Dear RoofSCat

Ah I'm glad to hear from you mate I thought we lost you anyways I see them as brothers that get on your nerves except the Spy I hate him

Love the Sniper

Dear RoofSCat

I consider them as idiots (yes even my own son)

Love the Spy

Dear RoofSCat

Mmmmmpppphhhhhhh! Mmmmpppppppphhhhhhhhhhhh!

Love the Pyro

Dear RoofSCat

I SEE THEM AS BROTHERS IN ARMS WE ARE FIGHTING THIS WAR TOGETHER AFTER ALL

Love the Soldier

Dear RoofSCat

I consider them to be teammates lass except the Soldier he'd definitely a brother

Love the Demoman

Dear RoofSCat

I shee them as lab rats

Love zhe Medic

Dear RoofSCat

Ah reckon them as brothers in arms

Love the Engineer

Dear RoofSCat

Heavy hates all except Doktor

Love Heavy


	63. Chapter 63

Dear mercenaries:

What do you think about the ships (relationships) that some people of the fandom do?

(by the way i dont know if that is correctly written... I'm still learning english c: )

Love Franzy

Dear Franzy

I think anyone that pairs me with any of the other mercs except Miss Pauling are freaking morons I'm clearly not gay

Love da Scout

Dear Franzy

It makes me puke when I see that they mainly pair me with the Spy we hate each other were not in love for crying out loud mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Franzy

It is appalling to see the pairings unless they pair me with Scout's ma

Love the Spy

Dear Franzy

Mmmmpppppppppphhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Love the Pyro

Dear Franzy

RANT TIME I AM IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM IN LOVE WITH ANY OF THE OTHER MERCS DO YOU CRAZY FANFICTION PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THAT I OUGHTA MAKE YOU DO PUSHUPS UNTIL YOU CRAP YOURSELVES FOR WRITING SUCH NONSENSE RANT OVER

Love the Soldier

Dear Franzy

Lad or lass it makes me sick to me stomach to see the disgusting pairs they make I view the Soldier as a good friend nothing more

Love the Demoman

Dear Franzy

Heavy fears nothing but these ships….scare me

Love Heavy

Dear Franzy

It is shad to shee the amount of timesh they pair me with the other mercs I mean were not sheeing each other like zhat shilly fanfictioners

Love zhe Medic

Dear Franzy

Ah have nightmares when ah see the ships they do

Love the Engineer


	64. Chapter 64

Hey guys :)

Would you rather fight an army of robots by yourself or an army of freaks by yourself (with unlimited ammo in both cases)? Same with Pauling and Saxton. Hey Freaky what are your hobbies and how old are you? I'm 23.

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

Robots screw dem freaks by the way I got revenge on Blind Femscout I took her stick from her and led her out in the street and she got hit by a bus hahaha it was great!

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

I would fight an army of freaks it would be interesting mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

I'll take the army of robots at least they're just robots not freaks

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

Mmmppph Mmmpphh Mmmpphh

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

FREAKS AND ROBOTS!

Love the Soldier

Dear Rikusolo84

Well lassie I would rather blow them all up and be done with it

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

I vould rather fight zhe robots at least vere ushed to zhat

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

Heavy would rather take on freaks

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

Ah would rather fight the freaks

Love the Engineer

Dear Rikusolo84

Umm I'm not sure I guess which ever ones the Administrator tell me to

Love Miss Pauling

Dear Rikusolo84

Pfft I don't have to fight no one mate they do it for me

Love Saxton Hale

Dear Rikusolo84

My hobbies are reading writing and horseback riding and I'm 17 years old

Love Freaky


	65. Chapter 65

Dear Scout,

While playing tf2,someone called you:Weakling,Idiot,Ugly,Retarted,but he called u most of all...Weakest of all classes.

Scout how do you react to this and how will you respond to him?

P.S:You're the Best

Love,Rub37

Dear Rub37

Whoever said that is a freaking moron who most likely has no life what so ever they are most likely just some five year old kid who still wets the bed and craps his/her pants but I would still be happy to meet him/her outside and beat the crap out of em I bet they wouldn't say that to my face

P.S I'd say thanks but I already know I'm the best

Love da Scout


	66. Chapter 66

J-D:Hello again Mercs of RED and BLU and the ladies too,

It's been a while, I hope that you all have been more or less behaving yourselves.

I am glad to hear that your grandfather is getting better, hope he is at 100% soon.

To the mercs and ladies, what sort of an education did you have before signing up with the Mann siblings/Saxton Hale? Did you go to a public or a private school? Was it for general education or something more specific? Lastly, what is your opinion on tests and exams?

Merci et au revoir!

J-D

Dear J-D

He most likely won't ever fully recover but he is doing much better thanks

Love Freaky

Dear J-D

I went to public school however I was too busy beatin cats up in the hallway to really pay attention and tests and exams are stupid and overrated

Love da Scout

Dear J-D

I was homeschooled and tests and exams are important mate so make sure you do them so you don't grow up to be a bloody idiot like the Scout

Love the Sniper

Dear J-D

I dropped out of school I'm too cool for School I went straight to backstabbing tests? Exams? Stupid

Love the Spy

Dear J-D

Mmmmpppphhh! Mmmppphhh Mmmppphhh

Love the Pyro

Dear J-D

I went to the Crypt Grammar School For Orphans but I was part of the Highland Demolition Men our tests and exams were to blow things up so I loved them lad

Love the Demoman

Dear J-D

Even tho I'm zhe Medic I literally have no medical training tests are necessary but exams are optional

Love zhe Medic

Dear J-D

Ah have eleven Phds I went to private school and tests and exams helped me get to where ah am today

Love the Engineer

Dear J-D

Heavy was Homeschooled Heavy hates test and exams

Love Heavy

Dear J-D

I'm really old so school was different for us that's all no more on the subject or else

Hate the Administrator

Dear J-D

I went to public school and I did really well then I became a merc shortly after that so no college and tests and exams are usually important however some are just stupid oh excuse me I have to get back to work

Love Miss Pauling


	67. Chapter 67

Dear mercs,

What do you think about the soldier? How do you manage to work with him while having to deal with his patriotism? (P.S don't tell sully)

And for soldier, first question goes the same to you, what do you think of your team? Are they following/disobeying your orders?

Also a question for Miss pauling, how do you managed to live up a life with a never ending work for your boss the administrator while also have to deal with mercenaries, well especially with scout wanting a date with you (obviously) ever get tired of it? If you don't mind me asking.

Love Ripntear045771

Dear Ripntear045771

I think the Soldier is annoying as crap because he yells nonstop and they say I'm the annoying one I just ignore him

Love da Scout

Dear Ripntear045771

He is really loud mate even when talking on the phone if he's talking to his relatives or something on the phone at night don't expect to get any sleep I just widely ignore him mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Ripntear045771

I hate the Soldier because he thinks he's the boss of us when he clearly isn't I don't recall the Administrator putting him in charge I just disappear so he'll shut up

Love the Spy

Dear Ripntear045771

Mmmmmmppppppppppppppppppppphhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmppppppppppppphhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmppppppppppppppphhhhhhhhh

Love the Pyro

Dear Ripntear045771

MY TEAMMATES ARE SO IMMATURE IT'S REDICULOUS THEY TRY NOT TO OBEY MY ORDERS BUT I ALWAYS WIN OUT

Love the Soldier

Dear Ripntear045771

Lad I personally like the Soldier were friends

Love the Demoman

Dear Ripntear045771

Vell he's annoying for shure but I just shtay in mien lab then I hardly shee him unless vere out in zhe battle

Love zhe Medic

Dear Ripntear045771

Heavy cares not about Soldier

Love Heavy

Dear Ripntear045771

Ah reckon he means well even if he drives us crazy

Love the Engineer

Dear Ripntear045771

Yes I get very tired of it sometimes I want to quit it gets overwhelming but I just push through until I get my day off then I take a trip to the spa all day long and relax if I ever get too overwhelmed I sneak of for five or ten minutes and just catch my breath it makes it a little more manageable

Love Miss Pauling


	68. Chapter 68

Nice that you miss me, Sniper. Okay, what is your favorite and least favorite thing about the war? And whats your favorite map? mercenaries and hale and the woman in purple.

Cookies to everyone! "(Even the author )

Love RoofSCat

Dear RoofSCat

My least favorite thing about the war is being away from home my favorite thing is getting to beat cats up without going to jail my favorite map is Teufort

Love da Scout

Dear RoofSCat

My favorite thing about the war is the experience mate you know the chance to get stronger my least favorite part is dying over and over again my favorite map is Gorge

Love the Sniper

Dear RoofSCat

My favorite part of the war backstabbing my least favorite not being able to see Scout's ma as often my favorite map is Mountain Lab

Love the Spy

Dear RoofSCat

Mmmmmppppppppphfiremmmmmmpppph

Love the Pyro

Dear RoofSCat

MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT THE WAR IS FIGHTING MY LEAST FAVORITE IS WHEN IT ENDS WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO FIGHT NONSTOP MY FAVORITE MAP IS DUSTBOWL

Love the Soldier

Dear RoofSCat

Me favorite thing about the war is drinking me least favorite part of the war not drinking me favorite map Sajin

Love the Demoman

Dear RoofSCat

Mien favorite thing about the var us vhen they get injured and I get an excushe to "help" zhem mien least favorite ish dying mien favorite map is Rottenburg

Love zhe Medic

Dear RoofSCat

Heavy likes shooting teeny babies Heavy hates losing Heavy's favorite map Coldfront

Love Heavy

Dear RoofSCat

My favorite part is getting to help out with my sentry guns my least favorite is killin and dyin my favorite map is Junction

Love the Engineer

Dear RoofSCat

Um I hardly fight in the war I just do what the Administrator asks

Love Miss Pauling

Dear RoofSCat

War? Maps? Pfft I own the place mate I just sit back and relax unless I feel like doing something

Love Saxton Hale


	69. Chapter 69

Hey guys:)

Would you rather travel to another planet and become it's absolute ruler when you arrive or travel to another dimension and marry a princess to eventually become ruler (you can do whatever you want in both situations and everyone loves you no matter what). Same to Pauling and Saxton.

P.s. Pauling you can get away from the Administrator in any situation I throw at you.

Love Rikusolo84

Hey Freaky :)

I like being on the internet, origami, coloring, crochet, and playing games on my phone. What other games, movies, cartoons etc would you consider writing about?

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

Lets see Ninjago Star Wars Pokemon and that's about it

Love Freaky

Dear Eikusolo84

I would rather be ruler then Miss Pauling can be my Queen

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

I would rather be King of the aliens mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

I would rather be ruler than Scout's ma will be Queen

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

I WOULD BE RULER THEN I WOULD CONSTANTLY WAGE WAR ON OTHER PLANETS (namely the others')

Love the Soldier

Dear Rikusolo84

Mmmmmmmpppppppppmmmmmmmppppphhhhhhmmmmmmmmpppppphhhmmmmpphmmmhppp

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

I would rather travel to another dimension that way I can drink in another dimension

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

I vould be ruler that vay they vould have to be mmien experiments

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

Heavy would rule

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

Ah would travel to another dimension and ah hope she likes Engineering

Love the Engineer

Dear Rikusolo84

Um I would rather rule because if I travel to another dimension and marry a Princess that would be gay and I'm not gay plus then I would be in charge

Love Miss Pauling

Dear Rikusolo84

Neither lifes too good mate

Love Saxton Hale


	70. Chapter 70

Hey mercs..,

Wanna join my free gift card giveaway?

Love EziolsPIRATE

Dear EziolsPIRATE

Sounds like a scam

Love da Scout

Dear EziolsPirate

What kind of gift cards exactly?

Love the Sniper

Dear EziolsPIRATE

I will pass on your gift cards

Love the Spy

Dear EziolsPIRATE

Mmmmmppppppppphhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Love the Pyro

Dear EziolsPIRATE

NO MAGGOT NO ONE WANTS YOUR GIFT CARDS!

Love the Soldier

Dear EziolsPIRATE

Are they fer a free drink?

Love the Demoman

Dear EziolsPIRATE

Vhat are zhey for?

Love zhe Medic

Dear EziolsPIRATE

Heavy cares not about gift cards

Love Heavy

Dear EziolsPIRATE

Sure!

Love the Engineer


	71. Chapter 71

Dear Heavy,

I have bad news for you...

The USSR is no more...

It has been disvoled in 1991...

How do you react to this?

Love,Rub37

Dear Rub37

So it dissolves in 1991 huh? That sucks Heavy is sad now maybe Heavy can get it back will crazy baby help Heavy?

Love Heavy


	72. Chapter 72

I'M SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN SO LONG MY POOR DOG GOT HIT BY A CAR AND I HAD TO PUT HIM DOWN SO IT'S BEEN HARD ANYWAYS LETS ANSWER SOME LETTERS

Ice cream to Sniper and Ms. Pualing. What is your favorite memory before, during or after the war?

And what is the weapon that you want the most?

And your favorite ice cream to you freaky!

Love RoofSCat

Dear RoofSCat

Thanks mate

Love the Sniper

Dear RoofSCat

My favorite memory before the war was going on was a mother daughter trip to the beach during the war was on my day off I went sky diving during the summer the weapon I want the most is a staff

Love Miss Pauling


	73. Chapter 73

Hey guys :)

Sorry Pauling I meant to put in parentheses (prince) for you. Anyway Saxton you sound like a lazy bum instead of the Australian badass everyone says you are because you won't consider doing anything I've brought up what gives? Mercs if you could make one of your fellow teammates do something really embarrassing for an entire week who would you pick and what would you make them do? Hey Freaky give Overwatch a try since you like tf2 (that is if you can) if not its ok. I'm gonna try writing myself so be on the look out for that.

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

I can be lazy when I want mate and I can be an amazing fighter when I choose it just depends on how I'm feeling any given day

Love Saxton Hale

Dear Rikusolo84

I would make the Pyro go swimming in speedos

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

I'd make the Spy dress act and talk like a woman for the whole week mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

I'd make the Sniper act like a retarded baby the whole time

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

Mmmmpppppppppphhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmppppppppppppppppphhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmppppppppphhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmpppppppppppphhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

SINCE I'M HIGHLY SURE THE MEDIC WAS A NAZI I WOULD MAKE HIM SLEEP IN THE CAMPS FOR THE WHOLE WEEK

Love the Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

I would make the Scout randomly ask lassies to marry him

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

I vould make the Shniper dress like a hooker

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

Can Heavy pick everyone?

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

Ah would make the Spy sing in front of millions of people

Love the Engineer


	74. Chapter 74

Dear soldier,

I told Heavy that the USSR has been disovled in 1991.

Soldier how do you react to the end of USSR?

Love,Rub37

Dear Rub37

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS THAT'S AMAZING THAT IT ENDED I HOPE ALL THE SOVIETS DIED HAHAHAHA THAT'S GREAT NEWS YOU JUST MADE MY DAY

Love the Soldier


	75. Chapter 75

DearRikusolo84

I'm really sorry I forgot to answer your question to me I think you totally should write and I will be looking out for it can't wait to read your work

Love Freaky


	76. Chapter 76

HELLO EVERYONE IT'S THE TOTALLY NOT DEAD FREAKYFAIRYKITTEN FIRST I WANT TO SAY I'M REALLY SORRY FOR BEING AWAY FOR SO LONG 2018 HAS BEEN A MEAN YEAR TO ME SO FAR MY SISTER IN LAW MISCARRIED THEN MY UNCLE DIED THEN MY AUNT DIED THAT EVENING DEATH EVERYWHERE MY FRIENDS MOM DIED MY OTHER FRIENDS DAD DIED I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE ONE OF THOSE SAPPY MARY SUE STORIES BUT I KID YOU NOT THIS HAS HAPPENED SO FAR INT THIS YEAR ANYWAYS YOU DIDN'T COME ON HERE TO HEAR MY TALE OF WOE SO THINGS ARE FINALLY SETTLING DOWN SO I GUESS THIS MEANS LETTERS IS BACK! IF I FOR WHATEVER REASON I NEED TO STEP BACK AGAIN I PROMISE TO LET YOU GUYS KNOW IN STEAD OF JUST DISAPPEARING ONCE AGAIN I'M CONFIRMING THAT I WAS NOT BRUTALLY MURDERED LOL ANYWAYS LET THE LETTER RESUME!


	77. Chapter 77

It's ok I understand. Life first, stories second (unless stories are your life). Can't wait for more :)

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

Thanks for your understanding and here's to more letters!

-Freaky


	78. Chapter 78

Dear mercs, who do you think would work the best with you?

Love Dead to be forgotten

Dear Dead to be forgotten

I think Miss Pauling would work best with me am I right ;)

Love da Scout

Dear Dead to be forgotten

I prefer to work alone mate can't no one help me snipe

Love the Sniper

Dear Dead to be forgotten

Although I hate to admit it but I have to agree with the Sniper spies must work alone

Love the Spy

Dear Dead to be forgotten

I THINK ME AND DEMO WOULD BE GOOD PARTNERS ITS BOTH OUR JOBS TO BLOW PEOPLE TO BITS

Love the Soldier

Dear Dead to be forgotten

Ah work best with Pyro he keeps the spies off my stuff

Love the Engineer

Dear Dead to be forgotten

Dear Dead to be forgotten

I've been taking writing classes because my teammates told me mmmpphh is not an appropriate response to everything so here goes I work best with Engineer I keep spies off his sentry gun and his sentry gun protects us win win (ha Scout I do know how to write)

Love the Pyro

Dear Dead to be forgotten

I vork besht vith Heavy no one can beat a Heavy Medic pair

Love zhe Medic

Dear Dead to be forgotten

I work best with Solly

Love the Demoman

Dear Dead to be forgotten

Heavy works best with doktor

Love Heavy


	79. Chapter 79

LovingDove:Hey Merc!

First off, Demo, Medic, Pyro your my fav! Mainly you Demo! I was wondering if you could all put on Pyros goggles right now and see what he sees. Please! Thank you!

Love LovingDove

Dear LovingDove

Ok *puts his goggles on* …what the crap is wrong wit this man…

Love da Scout

Dear LovingDove

00

Love the Sniper

Dear LovingDove

So basically were all winged babies and he thinks he's giving us lollipops and blowing bubbles at us….and now were riding on a giant pink unicorn…o…..k 00

Love the Spy

Dear LovingDove

Thanks! I'm glad you're making the others see things from my prospective

Love the Pyro

Dear LovingDove

THIS MAN IS TWISTED POSSESSED OH MY GOD I CANT UNSEE IT! GET THIS MAN HELP RIGHT AWAY

Love the Soldier

Dear LovingDove

Thanks Lassie! Now lets see *puts his goggles on* oh…..my…..god…and I thought I had issues :(

Love the Demoman

Dear LovingDove

Danke! Now for zhe goggles….*Medic runs away crying*

Medic is too traumatized to finish his letter

Dear LovingDove

Heavy said before that thing scares me Heavy cannot unsee what Heavy has seen….Heavy must go to Heavy's room for the next twenty years or so

Love Heavy

Dear LovingDove

Well thanks for the nightmares….00 *snuggles his sentry gun whilst mumbling to himself* god help me…

Love the Engineer


	80. Chapter 80

A/N IF I LEFT ANY OF YOUR LETTERS UNANSWERED I'M SORRY I DIDN'T DO IT ON PURPOSE EVERYTHING JUST GOT SO MIXED UP SO I'M NOT IGNORING YOU JUST RESEND THEM AND I'LL ANSWER THEM THANKS!


	81. Chapter 81

Hey guys,

So Freaky I wanted to know what type of YouTubers you like to watch (I like music, gaming, and cooking to name a few). To the mercs, what is your favorite dance to watch or do?

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

You know I don't really watch Youtube that much but when I do I like to watch the minecraft spoof of certain songs

Love Freaky

Dear Rikusolo84

The Carlton I invented that dance the ladies scream everytime they see it

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

The Conga

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

I prefer to tango

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

DANCING IS OVER RATED

Love the Soldier

Dear Rikusolo84

Irish Jig

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

I'm cool with any dance

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

Kizotsky Kick

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

Traditional German dances

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

Line dancing

Love the Engineer


	82. Chapter 82

Hello mercs,

I would like to ask on how do you feel about TF2 youtubers gameplay and how does it feel to have a decade old game

Love Dimensionrider

Dear Dimensionrider

Um I was not aware that we had a game

Love da Scout

Dear Dimensionrider

We can't break the forth wall were not supposed to know were in a game mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Dimensionrider

If this game is a decade old then I'd be one old man

Love the Spy

Dear Dimensionrider

WERE ARE NOT IN A GAME CRAZY MAGGOT

Love the Soldier

Dear Dimensionrider

Were just video game characters…..

Love the Pyro

Dear Dimensionrider

Well laddie at this revelation I'm going to have tpo drink some scrumpy

Love the Demoman

Dear Dimensionrider

I'd also be one old man

Love zhe Medic

Dear Dimensionrider

Heavy cares not as long as Blus keep coming

Love Heavy

Dear Dimensionrider

What is it ya'll call Youtube I keep hearing about it?

Love the Engineer


	83. Chapter 83

:So, hi everyone! Y'all have been my idols for forever now, so I figured I might as well ask a few questions.

Dear Medic, do you ever feel bullied or abused by your teammates? Because I've heard that medic abuse is a huge problem recently.

Dear Scout, how does it feel to truly be the lichpin of the team? (Read that with copious amounts of sarcasm.)

Dear Soldier, was Merasmus a very good roomate? If not, why?

Dear Pyro, how do yo feel about freezing? it's arguably just as fun as burning.

Dear Demo, didn't you turn all your organs into livers at one point? Hoe are you able to think?

Dear Heavy, why are you so angsty in this fic?

Dear Engie, have you ever built something incorrectly? And just how many of yoir PhD's are directly related to making me hate my life?

Dear Sniper, do you ever experience pain from the massive organ failire that comes with the ability to do Jarate?

Dear Spy, how do you know that Scout's a virgin? Have you been stalking him?

Dear literally everyone, what is your favorite hat and why?

Dear everyone, what is your favorite weapon and why?

Dear everyone, if you had to marry one person on the team who would it be?

Love Guest

Dear Guest

Nien my team vouldnt dare bully me I'll stop heling zhem if zhey do

Love zhe Medic

Dear Guest

What the heck are you talking about?

Love da Scout

Dear Guest

NO HE WASN'T MAGGOT BECAUSE HE'S A FREAK OF NATURE END OF DISCUSSION THE NEXT MAGGOT TO ASK ABOUT HIM IS DROPPING AND GIVING ME FIFTY PUSHUPS

Love the Soldier

Dear Guest

I'm not sure about freezing I've only burned

Love the Pyro

Dear Guest

*hiccup* because lad I'm that good that I can think while I only have livers so I can drink more

Love the Demoman

Dear Guest

Heavy Is not angsty Heavy only worries about family

Love Heavy

Dear Guest

Sure Ah've built something incorrectly we all mess up sometimes how exactly do my Phds make you hate your life?

Love the Engineer

Dear Guest

Organ failure? never heard of it mate the only pain I feel is in my back

Love the Sniper

Dear Guest

He's my son ofcourse I know I mean its obvious he is

Love the Spy

Dear Guest

Look pal someone has already asked us those questions so you already know our answers

Love da Scout


	84. Chapter 84

:So, hi everyone! Y'all have been my idols for forever now, so I figured I might as well ask a few questions.

Dear Medic, do you ever feel bullied or abused by your teammates? Because I've heard that medic abuse is a huge problem recently.

Dear Scout, how does it feel to truly be the lichpin of the team? (Read that with copious amounts of sarcasm.)

Dear Soldier, was Merasmus a very good roomate? If not, why?

Dear Pyro, how do yo feel about freezing? it's arguably just as fun as burning.

Dear Demo, didn't you turn all your organs into livers at one point? Hoe are you able to think?

Dear Heavy, why are you so angsty in this fic?

Dear Engie, have you ever built something incorrectly? And just how many of yoir PhD's are directly related to making me hate my life?

Dear Sniper, do you ever experience pain from the massive organ failire that comes with the ability to do Jarate?

Dear Spy, how do you know that Scout's a virgin? Have you been stalking him?

Dear literally everyone, what is your favorite hat and why?

Dear everyone, what is your favorite weapon and why?

Dear everyone, if you had to marry one person on the team who would it be?

Love Guest

Dear Guest

Nien my team vouldnt dare bully me I'll stop heling zhem if zhey do

Love zhe Medic

Dear Guest

What the heck are you talking about?

Love da Scout

Dear Guest

NO HE WASN'T MAGGOT BECAUSE HE'S A FREAK OF NATURE END OF DISCUSSION THE NEXT MAGGOT TO ASK ABOUT HIM IS DROPPING AND GIVING ME FIFTY PUSHUPS

Love the Soldier

Dear Guest

I'm not sure about freezing I've only burned

Love the Pyro

Dear Guest

*hiccup* because lad I'm that good that I can think while I only have livers so I can drink more

Love the Demoman

Dear Guest

Heavy Is not angsty Heavy only worries about family

Love Heavy

Dear Guest

Sure Ah've built something incorrectly we all mess up sometimes how exactly do my Phds make you hate your life?

Love the Engineer

Dear Guest

Organ failure? never heard of it mate the only pain I feel is in my back

Love the Sniper

Dear Guest

He's my son ofcourse I know I mean its obvious he is

Love the Spy

Dear Guest

Look pal someone has already asked us those questions so you already know our answers

Love da Scout


	85. Chapter 85

Hey guys :)

Freaky, did you know that in your account there is a PM button that allows you to send private messages to other authors that also have accounts? Message me if you feel like talking to me, I can't guarantee that I'll see it right away but I'll still try to reply as soon as I can. To the mercs do you guys have a favorite horror story and if so what is it and why is it your favorite?

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

Yes I'm aware of the PM button its just I don't usually use it unless talking about private matters if you'd rather do that then that's fine

Love Freaky

Dear Rikusolo84

All the horror stories are lame and totally not scary

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

I kill people for a living mate so all other horror stories just pale in comparison

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

Hmmm my favorite horror story is the one about the man who was sitting at his table eating dinner then an amazingly handsome guy came in and put a knife in his back

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

Horror stories the world is rainbows and unicorns

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

Me favorite horror story is the one where I get drunk

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

HORROR STORIES ARE FOR SISSIES AND MAGGOTS

Love the Soldier

Dear Rikusolo84

Given vhat ve do for a living not to many horror stories are really zhat good to me

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

I'm not that in to horror stories

Love the Engineer

Dear Rikusolo84

Heavy does not like horror stories

Love Heavy


	86. Chapter 86

Animegirl:Hey mercs!

Weird question, who do you think acts the cutest one the team, even if they don't even know it. *only too people can use the same answer cause I have a feeling everyone will say Pyro, who DOESINT think his cute?)

And a question for Red Demoman and Blu Soldier, are you friends again? If not its probably cause you don't know what happened soooooo *tells them what the administrator did, and how she ruined their friendship* so will you be friends or will it take awhile before you can trust each other again?

Love Animegirl

Dear Animegirl

You are wrong sister I don't think Pyro is cute at all or any of the others for that fact

Love da Scout

Dear Animegirl

Were are heartless mercs so none of us are cute mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Animegirl

I have to agree I don't think any of the mercs are cute were cold hearted killers

Love the Spy

Dear Animegirl

Thanks for thinking I'm cute!

Love the Pyro

Dear Animegirl

WE ARE NOT CUTE!

Love the Soldier

Dear Animegirl

Oh you probraly shouldn't have told us lassie and I'm friends with our team's Soldier too

Love the Demoman

Dear Animegirl

I do not zhink zhey are cute zhey drive me crazy

Love zhe Medic

Dear Animegirl

Heavy thinks teeny men are stupid not cute

Love Heavy

Dear Animegirl

Ah think puppies are cute not the men of Tuefort

Love the Engineer

Dear Animegirl

*clears throat* you do not meddle in my affairs since you weren't aware of the rules Miss Pauling will be by to have a very long "discussion" about why you don't tell the mercs my business

Hate the Administrator


	87. Chapter 87

Medicism:Dear Scout,

How does your body withstand drinking radioactive soda with enough sugar to kill you?

Dear Soldier,

Why is the Liberty Launcher cracked. Shouldn't that be patched up?

Dear Pyro,

How do you feel about people always assuming your gender?

Dear Demo,

Is Nessie your friend or foe? You seem to idolize her, yet you tried to kill her on numerous occasions.

Dear Heavy,

My sister won't stop ticking me off. You have three sisters, what would you do in this situation?

Dear Engie,

Why do you never take your welding goggles off? It's not like you have robotic eyes... as cool as that would be...

Dear Medic,

How does Respawn affect the semantics of the Hippocratic oath? Also, didnt't you steal Archimedes and co. from the Prime Minkster's wedding?

Dear Sniper,

If a new base opened in Australia, would you be for or against going there? (Keep in mind that you're the only aussie not affected by australium and that your relationship with your father is rocky af best.)

Dear Spy,

What do you hate most about American cuisine? What do you like most about american food? (I promise I won't tell Solly.)

Love Medicism

Dear Medicism

I'm just that freaking amazing plus it makes me extra healthy

Love da Scout

Dear Medicism

I LOVE BATTLE SCARS IT SHOWS THE MANY BATTLES ME AND THE OLD GIRL HAVE BEEN THROUGH TOGETHER GOOD TIMES GOOD TIMES

Love the Soldier

Dear Medicism

I'm a boy so them calling me he doesn't bother me

Love the Pyro

Dear Medicism

Foe remember I lost my eye in a plot to kill her

Love the Demoman

Dear Medicism

Heavy just walks away and ignores them

Love Heavy

Dear Medicism

Ah keep my goggles on because you never know when a build will come up ah like to be prepared

Love the Engineer

Dear Medicism

You mean zhe Hippocratic Suggestion it doest affect zhat and ja I did steal my doves fro, the PM's vedding

Love zhe Medic

Dear Medicism

I would be ok with it mate I already go wherever I'm needed

Love the Sniper

Dear Medicism

American cuisine is mostly processed unhealthy crap there's really nothing to like about it

Love the Spy


	88. Chapter 88

Dear Scout,

Will you ever get over the fact that Miss Pauling will never, ever, ever date you?

Love Lucy the medic

Dear Lucy the medic

She will date me in expiration date she didn't say know to going out with me she invited me along on some of her missions she knows she loves me she's just too afraid of the Administrator to admit it

Love da Scout


	89. Chapter 89

Medicism:Dear Everyone,

What weapon confuses you the most? (For example, how does Engie gain 25 health when he removes his glove?)

With love (and an unhealthy fascination with everyone), Medicism

Dear Medicism

Soldier's Blackbox how the heck does a rocket launcher heal you when you hit someone

Love da Scout

Dear Medicism

Spy's conniver's Kunai in less its like a vampire knife how does it heal him when he stabs people with it mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Medicism

How does a jar of pee cause people to take mini crits

Love the Spy

Dear Medicism

HOW DOES A PAIR OF GLOVES MAKE THE FAT HEAVY RUN FASTER HE'S WAY TOO FAT I'M SURPISED HE CAN RUN AT ALL

Love the Soldier

Dear Medicism

The Demoman's sword if he's supposed to be the bomb head then how does he come to wield a sword?

Love the Pyro

Dear Medicism

Medic's Crusader's Crossbow how does a Crossbow heal people lad last time I checked they killed people

Love the Demoman

Dear Medicism

The Pyro's Rainblower whaaaaaaa? enough said

Love zhe Medic

Dear Medicism

Leetle Scout's Sandman (which they nerfed ha Scout) how does a bat make you have less health

Love Heavy

Dear Medicism

Everything about the Spy he needs to be fired

Love the Engineer


	90. Chapter 90

Dear medic,

Could you explain with your medical knowledge how some of your teamates weapons as well as your own is able to affect their base health, heals them passively, heals them on damaging someone or increase/decrease their vulnerability to certain type of damage?

Love DimesionRider

Dear DimesionRider

Ummmmmmmm because Valve wanted it zhat vay *sheepishly smiles*

Love zhe Medic

Soldier HEY DON'T BREAK THE FOURTH WALL NAZI!


	91. Chapter 91

awesomesauce:Dear Scout

What would you do if I put a traumatized little girl on your chest?

Love Awesomesauce

Dear Awesomesauce

Uh I'm not familiar with traumatized children but uh let's see I would give her a can of Bonk? *shrugs*

Love da Scout


	92. Chapter 92

Hey guys :)

If you were to meet yourself from the future what would you ask them?

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

You know I'd ask myself how the wedding with Miss Pauling goes ;)

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

Do you have any regrets

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

If me and Scout's mom ever get married

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

IF GERMANY STARTED WWIII AND IF WE WON AGAIN

Love the Soldier

Dear Rikusolo84

If in the future we have flying cars

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

I'd have a drinking contest with me future self

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

Did zhey ever make zhe Hippocratic suggestion a Hippocratic oath

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

Heavy would ask if Heavy's family is safe

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

Ah would ask if the war ever ended and if so did what ah did with me life after

Love the Engineer


	93. Chapter 93

Dear Scout,

I don't believe you.

Your no lady killer. And you mostly look like a stick with a massive ego.

Love Lucy the Medic

Dear Lucy the Medic

Look here sista I tried to be nice but now you took it there your most likely just some five year old who's just jealous because you have no life and I do so just get a life and stop hating on me

Love da Scout


	94. Chapter 94

Animegirl:This is letter, I just wanted to say DANG, I got caught by The Administrator.

Love Animegirl

Dear Animegirl

Since ye told us the truth I'll bail you out ok *Soldier distracts the Administrator while Demo puts a sheet over your head and smuggles you out of Red base* there ye go be free

Love the Demoman


	95. Chapter 95

Hey guys:)

Your answers to my last question make sense so thanks. Anyway I wanted to know are you or have you been religious and if not why? Same to Administrator and Pauling

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

You know my ma used to take me and my brothers to church when we were kids but we were too busy being jerks and running the streets to listen

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

I've never really thought about it you bring up a good question mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

I grew up in a Catholic family

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

IT WAS ONLY BY THE GRACE OF GOD THAT AMERICA WON WWII

Love the Soldier

Dear Rikusolo84

Isnt everything rainbows and unicorns?

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

I believe that alcohol is all ye need lassie

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

Vell I'm not shure vhat I'm supposed to believe Valve never told me

Love zhe Medic

Soldier "MIND THAT WALL MAGGOT!"

Dear Rikusolo84

Heavy has never considered it parents never talked about it at all

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

Ah grew up in a Christian home

Love the Engineer

Heavy "Miss pauling said she's too busy to answer letter"

Dear Rikusolo84

Why would you need to know that why are you questioning me I ask all the questions ok

Hate the Administrator


	96. Chapter 96

Dear Scout,

Really? That's the best you can come up with?

Geez, did the Bonk! do something to your head or did you hit it when you failed a double jump?

Go and crawl back to your little hidey hole, Scout.

You ain't got nothing to prove.

\- Lucy

Dear Lucy the Medic

I would say something but my ma told me not to argue with toddlers it gets you know where and your right I have nothing to prove to you some loser trashy medic main so have a nice day sweetheart

Love da Scout


	97. Chapter 97

Dear Everyone,

What would happen if you were forced to have an art class? And what would you do?

-Lucy

P.S F*** you Scout.

Dear Lucy

So first you hate me now you want to f*** me well too bad sista I don't like you like dat at all and sheesh watch your mouth there could be kids reading dis you know

Love da Scout

Dear Lucy

I wouldn't mind mate and would like to learn how to be a tattoo artist that way I can tattoo my initials on my victims' bodies

Love the Sniper

Dear Lucy

I would like to paint

Love the Spy

Dear Lucy

WAR IS AN ART SO I DON'T NEED NO ART CLASS

Love the Soldier

Dear Lucy

I'm great at drawing!

Love the Pyro

Dear Lucy

My Scrumpy is a work o art

Love the Demoman

Dear Lucy

Vell I suppose it vont be zhat bad I vould draw a picture of my cutting all zhe other mercs' heads off

Love zhe Medic

Dear Lucy

Heavy would like art class I want to learn pottery

Love Heavy

Dear Lucy

Ah would like to see how they stain glass Ah've always wondered

Love the Engineer


	98. Chapter 98

Quick question Pyro you are my favorite and what is your favorite matiral to burn and to everyone what is your favorite type of cake, cookie and ice cream?

Love RoofScat

Dear RoofScat

My favorite ice cream is classic vanilla my favorite cookie my ma used to make these sugar cookies they were the best and my favorite cake is classic yellow with chocolate icing

Love da Scout

Dear RoofScat

My favorite cake is honeybun cake my favorite cookie is peanut butter and my favorite ice cream is butter pecan

Love the Sniper

Dear RoofScat

My favorite cake is white with strawberry filling usually found at weddings my favorite cookie is snickerdoodles my favorite ice cream is pistachio

Love the Spy

Dear RoofScat

MY FAVORITE CAKE IS MARBLE COOKIE CHOCOLATE CHIP AND ICE CREAM STRAWBERRY

Love the Soldier

Dear RoofScat

Thanks! Maybe we should hang out sometimes you know ride unicorns on rainbows :) my favorite material to burn is magazines I love burning them I prefer rainbow lollipops

Love the Pyro

Dear RoofScat

Me favorite cake is Scrumpy cake my favorite cookie is Scrumpy cookies and my favorite ice cream is Scrumpy ice cream

Love the Demoman

Dear RoofScat

Mien favorite cake is strawberry short cake cookie is oatmeal and ice cream is mint chocolate chip

Love zhe Medic

Dear RoofScat

Heavy loves all cake not a fan of cookies tho and ice cream is Sherbet

Love Heavy

Dear RoofScat

Ah'm move of a pie kind of guy but I do love vanilla ice cream with my pie and ah do enjoy gingersnaps

Love the Engineer

Scout "yo we were wondering would you readers prefer to hang out all day with me?"

Medic "or vith me?"


	99. Chapter 99

Hey guys :)

I'm also from a Christian family especially considering my uncle is the pastor of the church we go to. Anyway would you rather be forced to work with freaks against robots or with robots against freaks knowing you can kill the other after you have worked together P.S. Pauling needs more time to herself

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

I'd rather work with da robots to fight da freaks

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

I prefer the robot blokes

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

If I had to work with them I guess I'd work with the robots

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

BOTH

Love the Soldier

Dear Rikusolo84

I'd rather work with the freaks since everyone thinks I'm a freak maybe we can relate

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

I'd rather work with the robots and fight the freaks

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

Ugh I guess I'd vork with the robots I hate the freaks zhere are just mooches

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

Heavy will fight freaks

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

If ah'm lucky my sentry will kill both….too much….sorry

Love the Engineer

Dear Rikusol84

Yes very badly I already had to tell the Scout to stop three times just in writing this letter

Love Miss Pauling


	100. Chapter 100

I would prefer to hang out with the Medic and Pyro can you show me how to ride the unicorns and make the rainbows? And what would you like to do after the war burn 30 tons of paper every day or burn 30 tons of wood?

Love RoofScat

Dear RoofScat

Well the rainbows are everywhere as far as riding unicorns you just climb on their backs and grab their manes for leverage if you prefer to have a saddle then I can get you one but bareback is better and you can go as fast or slow as you want and then you ride them up the rainbows paper I would burn the paper

Love the Pyro

Medic "ha zhats one for me"

Scout "lame"


	101. Chapter 101

Medic. I have many questions for him plus it would be nice to know what its like to be a professional field medic. Also to all of you guys. What was the dumbest, most dangerous move you pulled off on the battlefield yet somehow survived?

Love DimesionRider

Dear DimesionRider

Took on the Heavy with my baseball bat

Love da Scout

Dear DimensionRider

Kept sniping when I knew there was a spy around

Love the Sniper

Dear DimensionRider

Headed straight for a Pyro while cloaked

Love the Spy

Dear DimensionRider

WELL ROCKET JUMPING IS PRETTY DANGEROUS I MEAN ORDINARILY YOU WOULD BLOW TO TINY BITS

Love the Soldier

Dear DimensionRider

Chased a Demoman into his sticky trap

Love the Pyro

Dear DimensionRider

Charged at the Soldier with my sword rockets where flying everywhere yet somehow I still survived

Love the Demoman

Dear DimensionRider

Vell generally I try to stay out of harms vay but I killed a Heavy with my bonesaw

Love zhe Medic

Dear DimesionRider

Heavy was first one out and avoided getting sniped (generally the first out gets sniped or blown up by sticky bombs)

Love Heavy

Dear DimensionRider

Ah accidently walked out in front of my sentry gun ah survived but barely

Love the Engineer

Medic "Zhats two for me zero for you"

Scout 'dats only because the morons don't know dat your idea of hanging out is them screaming in agony on your examination table"

Medic "vhatever you have to tell yourself Scouty boy"


	102. Chapter 102

Dear mercs,

How was your firsts in the team like? Eg. First death, first encounter with blu counterparts etc. Also what advice would you give for those who wish to pick up the same class as yourselves?

Love DimensionRider

Dear DimensionRider

My first death was scary before I relished dat we come back and when I first saw da blu Scout I thought what a freaking moron he's just a me wanna be and a total losa plus he's a New York fan contrary to popular belief being a Scout takes skill use your speed to your advantage you capture control points twice as fast as the other classes however your low health leaves you vulnerable on the front lines just keep moving and don't be stupid the scattergun only works in close range use your pistol for picking off enemies at a distance if you're a good Scout then you're a force to be reckoned with if you suck then people are just like pfft whatever

Love da Scout

Dear DimensionRider

My first death was scary as well even if we know we'll come back theres still something inside you that just panics mate my first encounter with Blu Sniper ended in a stale mate I blew his head off he blew my head off and it just went on all bloody day you must be a crack shot to be a Sniper headshots deal crits and instantly kills the victim unless they are under the effect of a crit resist vaccinator Medic a fully charged body shot will kill most classes except maybe an overhealed Heavy you are vulnerable because you stand in one place try to be somewhere hard to see Spy will most likely target you you can put on the razor back to avoid backstabs Sniping is not easy just remember that

Love the Sniper

Dear DimensionRider

Well given the fact that I'm a psycho assassin death didn't really bother me however that Blu Spy is dumb I snuck into his base and back stabbed all his teammates and he had no idea I even backstabbed him! It was great Spy takes great great great skill you can disguise as the enemy but avoid walking directly towards them as that usually alerts them that you're a Spy try to get behind them somehow you can cloak and sneak past but you also have to be careful with that avoid Pyros if possible you can also sap Engineer's building but it takes some time and the Engineer can remove sappers never backstab the Engineer by his sentry gun because you'll uncloak and get shot to bits sap his sentry gun then kill him if you miss their back it will just stab them which is very weak but you can pull out a gun if your backstab fails Spys not for everyone

Love the Spy

Dear DimensionRider

WELL SON I DON'T WANT TO DIE BUT IF DYING ASKING ME AS FAR AS THE BLU SOLDIER GOES HE'S STUPID DURING OUR FIRST ENCOUNTER I BLEW HIM UP SO MANY TIMES YET HE KEPT RIGHT ON TRYING TO HIDE IN THE SAME PLACE EVERY SINGLE TIME I MEAN COME ON YOU THINK YOU WOULD LEARN AFTER AWHILE BUT I GUESS NOT SOLDIER IS AN EASY CLASS FOR NEW MAGGOTS POINT FIRE BOOM DEAD

Love the Soldier

Dear DimensionRider

I just remember wondering if blu Pyro loves rainbows and unicorns as much as I do well when I first met him I gave him a rainbow lollipop ie (bashed his head in with an axe) as a Pyro you'll want to ambush your enemies especially Heavies its not always wise to just rush forward flamethrower blazing (haha get it) if your guarding an Engineer's nest (or Pybroing) burn everyone who walks up just to be sure and for Scouts that often stay just beyond your flamethrower's range use your flare gun to hit him with it if you want the full after burn you'll need gas good luck!

Love the Pyro

Dear DimensionRider

Me first encounter with death was scary dying is scary whether it's slow and painful or quick my first sighting of Blu Demo was great! The Sniper had just shot his bottle of scrumpy and it shattered and went I his eye then he stupidly launched grenades randomly and well and blew himself up so you've chosen to be a Demo huh? Me advice to you is always crit sticky a control point or right where the robots will come from lay sticky traps and lure your enemies into them you can also lob them at Engineer's nests this class takes skill so be careful

Love the Demoman

Dear DimensionRider

Like I said before its human for us to be afraid of death zhe term for zhat is Necrophobia anyvays Blu Medic is ok I guess he does his job just like me for all zhose whishing to be a Medic overheal all your teammates plus if you can try to avoid pocketing one class you build ubercharge faster if you heal everyone (yes even Scouts) remember it is better to uber a Scout or Spy then to die and lose your unbercharge you can give them crits or resistances

Love zhe Medic

Dear DimensionRider

Heavy was scared on first death blu Heavy is weird if babies want to be a Heavy you have the highest health and your mini gun chews through most things your most vulnerable to headshots and back stabs do to your slow speed so always be aware any Snipers in the area it takes minigun a minute to warm up you have to spin it first so do that right before an encounter your minigun chews through ammo so always know where you can get some more

Love Heavy

Dear DimensionRider

Ah guess ah'll make it final that death is scary no matter what unless you're a true psycho freak Blu Engie is alright I mean its kinda hrd to hate on him when you got the same job you know and my advice to any future Engineers out there is stay clear of your sentry gun spy check frequently and make sure your nest is in a place where a Demoman can't lob grenades at it your job is to support your teammates so make sure you have teleporters to get them to the front lines faster dispenser for classes such as the Heavy and Pyro who's weapons chew threw ammunition and a sentry gun to provide cover fire

Love the Engineer


	103. Chapter 103

Hey guys :)

Scout I wouldn't mind hanging out with you if it means I get to see how great you are at everything ;). Also if you guys could only have one weapon to use on the battlefield what would it be and why?

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

Finally someone understands! I would use the Force a nature because I'm a force of mature I mean do you even know who your talking to (reference to meet the Scout)

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

I would use the stock sniper rifle it's the most reliable

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

I would have to use he conniver's Kunai like I said can't beat a knife that heals you whilst you stab someone

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

LIBERTY LAUNCHER IS MY WEAPON OF CHOICE BECAUSE IT HAS LIBERTY IN THE NAME

Love the Soldier

Dear Rikusolo84

I would use the rainblower it shoots rainbow flames enough said

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

Same just the stock grenade launcher no cons just pros

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

I guess if I had to have one it vould be zhe kritzkrieg everyone complains about zhe quick fix

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

Heavy would use Sasha she's Heavy's favorite

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

Well ah reckon ah would use my sentry gun it is the most helpful they can always go find ammo drops and walk their lazy butts to the front line

Love the Engineer


	104. Chapter 104

Dear Mercs,

Idk if someone asked this already, but i tell it anyway.

What do you do when you're not fighting?

Love, Rub37

Dear Rub37

I hit the batting cages

Love da Scout

Dear Rub37

I go hunting

Love the Sniper

Dear Rub37

I visit Boston ;)

Love the Spy

Dear Rub37

I TRAIN ALL DAY YOU HAVE TO STAY IN SHAPE THE ENEMY CAN STRIKE AT ANY MOMENT

Love the Soldier

Dear Rub37

Burn magazines

Love the Pyro

Dear Rub37

I hit the bar

Love the Demoman

Dear Rub37

I vork on one of mien many experiments

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rub37

Heavy visits family if possible

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

Ah mainly just tinker in my workshop

Love the Engineer


	105. Chapter 105

I really want to know what in your opinon is the craziest thing you have done and/or seen? Thats an all class question and Pyro can I be your friend?

Love RoofScat

Dear RoofScat

The craziest thing I've ever seen was Heavy doing ballet (now imagine a dude that fat doing ballet)

Love da Scout

Dear RoofScat

The craziest thing I've ever done was took a sheila out on one of my jobs as a date needless to say she never spoke to me again

Love the Sniper

Dear RoofScat

The craziest thing I've seen was when a reader suggested we put on Pyro's goggles I reiterate what is wrong with that man

Love the Spy

Dear RoofScat

THE CRAZIEST THING IV'E EVER DONE I FOUGHT A BEAR NAKED COVERED IN JELLY

Love the Soldier

Dear RoofScat

Of course you can be my friend! *thumbs up* I'm glad someone finally wants to be my friend anyways the craziest thing I ever did was burned an entire town the ground

Love the Pyro

Dear RoofScat

The craziest thing I ever did was drink sooo much Scrumpy that me insides were brown

Love the Demoman

Dear RoofScat

Zhe craziest zhing I've ever done is *coughs* uh I joined a disco dancing competition

Love zhe Medic

Dear RoofScat

It was not ballet! it was exercise! oh nevermind Heavy once rode a bear to the market

Love Heavy

Dear RoofScat

Ah once took my sentry on a date (what it's a really great and helpful thing)

Love the Engineer


	106. Chapter 106

Dear Sniper, Can I have a hug? You're one of my favorite characters... Plus I can kinda relate to you, as I had relatives who used to live in Australia...

Dear Spy, What do you look like under the mask? *takes off mask* PS You another one of my faves

Dear Medic, has anyone ever told you you're slightly insane? Take it as a compliment from me, since you're another of my favorite characters

Dear Pyro, wanna be friends? :3

Love Jeff's icy dragon of minecraft

Dear Jeff

Sure mate *hugs* that's cool that's you also have relatives that lived there

Love the Sniper

Dear Jeff

Since you pulled my mask off I'm afraid I'm going to have to deposit a knife in your back

Ps thanks I know I'm great

Love the Spy

Dear Jeff

Vell I can't argue vith zhat I am insane danke

Love zhe Medic

Dear Jeff

Sure! *thumbs up*

Love the Pyro


	107. Chapter 107

Hey guys :)

I was wondering what are your views on those in the LGBTQ community because I believe we all deserve equal rights since we are all human. You too Pauling if you have the time to answer.

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

*sigh* screw dem fags why do they think they deserve betta treatment just because they're gay I don't gives a rats behind if your gay just don't try to push your agenda off on me

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

Well while I personally don't believe in that I don't judge them for it either its their right to believe that mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

These categories are making me uncomfortable but whatever its their right

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusol84

WE THE MEN OF RED WILL NOT TOLERATE SUCH FAGGOTRY IN OUR ARMY I WILL NOT ALLOW IT!

Love the Soldier

Dear Rikusolo84

Umm as long as they like unicorns and rainbows *thumbs up*

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

Are those the same people who pair me with the Soldier?

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

Vhen I grew up zhat kinda thing vould get you killed but I suppose times are different gay or not zhere still make good experiments to me

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

Heavy cares not for such topics but Heavy will not judge

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

Well ah'll be honest with ya I believe that homosexuality is a sin but its not my place to judge others

Love the Engineer


	108. Chapter 108

YAY and Heavy riding a bear into a market is cool not crazy. Medic what is the worst ingury you have treated? Pyro how are you doing and would you like fire crackers or fireworks? And here *gives box full of cookies and jars of greek fire* the greek fire is hot enough to melt metal and can be put out by water!

Love RoofSCat

Dear RoofSCat

Zhe vorst injury I've ever treated vas vhen zhe Spy had a run in vith zhe Pyro he had third degree maybe even fourth degree burns zhey were peeling and oozing it vas gross

Love zhe Medic

Dear RoofSCat

I'm doing well thanks for asking fireworks are beautiful I love them! And thanks for the cookies and jars of greek fire

Love the Pyro

Dear RoofSCat

Heavy thought it was good idea

Love Heavy


	109. Chapter 109

Dear Everyone (But Scout and including Miss Pauling and Helen),

Is Scout a brat or is just me?

-Lucy

(Medic is just my title. People just call me Lucy.)

Dear Lucy

I like how you started dis and your acting like I'm da jerk I tried to be nice but you started wit da insults if you have a problem wit me keep it wit me don't drag da other mercs into dis

Love da Scout

Dear Lucy

Well mate while the Scout can be a brat you did kinda start it

Love the Sniper

Dear Lucy

My son can be a pain sometimes

Love the Spy

Dear Lucy

I THINK BOTH YOU AND THE SCOUT ARE BRATS WHO NEED TO SHUT UP ALREADY!

Love the Soldier

Dear Lucy

The Scout always calls me a freak so yea he's a brat

Love the Pyro

Dear Lucy

Admit yer role in it lassie and then the two of ye need to make up

Love the Demoman

Dear Lucy

Vell ja zhe Scout can be a butthead sometimes

Love zhe Medic

Dear Lucy

Heavy thinks both are being brats

Love Heavy

Dear Lucy

The Scout is a brat most of the time

Love the Engineer

Dear Lucy

The Scout is a handful

Love Miss Pauling

Dear Lucy

Are you harassing my mercs?

Hate the Administrator


	110. Chapter 110

Hey guys :)

Ok I get why you think like that but on to something fun, if you could see in only three colors for two days what would they be and why

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

I'm really sorry I meant to have Miss Pauling answer your last letter but it completely slipped my mind I guess I'm still used to it just being the nine mercs

Love Freaky

Dear Rikusolo84

Red green and purple blood Miss Pauling's eyes and Miss Pauling's shirt

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

You know mate sometimes I wish I couldn't see in color at all then it wouldn't be so bright outside but if I had to pick three it would be red blue and yellow red team blu team and my jarate

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

Mine would be bland colors like gray so that its no too disorienting (you'll understand when you reach my age)

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

RED WHITE AND BLUE OBVIOUS REASONS

Love the Soldier

Dear Rikusolo84

Hmmm I guess it would be three colors of the rainbow how about red orange and yellow

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

Brown gold and honey brown those are all colors of alcohol

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

Hmm red for blood pink for organs and white for my doves

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

Red and blue mandatory so we can tell our teams apart and then pink for flesh

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

Red for my team blue for the enemy team and green for nature

Love the Engineer


	111. Chapter 111

Hey guys! You probably remember me as Medicism, but I recently made an account, so just call me Prof frokm hereon out. Anyway, this might sound repetitive, but...

Dear Everyone,

What is the most confusing weapon THAT YOU CAN EQUIP? (In other words, what's the most confusing weapon that you use, not anyon else.)

P.S.: I personally find the Gunslinger the most confusing. Engie takes off his glove and suddenly has twenty-five more health? What?)

Love Prof

Dear Prof

Da sandman how does holding a certain bat suddenly make me lose fifteen health

Love da Scout

Dear Prof

The Sydney sleeper unless I pee on my bullets how does it hit them with jarate?

Love the Sniper

Dear Prof

The Spycicle how does backstabbing someone with an icicle make me immune to fire for one second last time I checked fire melted ice

Love the Spy

Dear Prof

THE PAIN TRAIN HOW DOES HOLDING A STICK WITH A NAIL IN IT SUDDENLY MAKE ME CAPTURE CAPS FASTER

Love the Soldier

Dear Prof

The neon annihilator how does a neon sign remove sappers? 

Love the Pyro

Dear Prof

Most of me weapons get no random critical hits why is that?

Love the Demoman

Dear Prof

I can honestly say zhat none of mien veapons confuse me zhay all make since to me

Love zhe Medic

Dear Prof

I guess would say Gloves of running urgently how do gloves me make run faster

Love Heavy

Dear Prof

I agree with ya son I take my glove off and suddenly I have more health

Love the Engineer


	112. Chapter 112

Dear mercs. If you were given the chance and the opportunity to use another ranged weapon from any of your teammates, which calass weapon would it be and why (Choose wisely with explanation)

For pyro, as my favorite class, which class melee weapon would you rather choose for close combat if given the opportunity to use one? (Choose wisely with explanation)

Love ripntear045771

Dear ripntear045771

Da Medic's medigun then I'd heal and ubercharge myself and lead the team to victory

Love da Scout

Dear ripntear045771

Most likely the Soldier's black box I can hit people and get healed

Love the Sniper

Dear ripntear045771

The Sniper's stock sniper rifle then I'd snipe him with his own weapon

Love the Spy

Dear ripntear045771

THE DEMOMAN'S STOCK GRENADE LAUNCHER I STILL GET TO BLOW PEOPLE UP PLUS IVE ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO USE THAT WEAPON

Love the Soldier

Dear ripntear045771

Thanks! the Scout's Atomizer I'd beat him with it and show him freak

Love the Pyro

Dear ripntear045771

The Heavy's mini gun I've wanted to use it fer a long time now

Love the Demoman

Dear ripntear045771

Zhe Scout's scatter gun zhen I'd shoot him for stealing mien medigun

Love zhe Medic

Dear ripntear045771

Heavy would use Engineer's sentry gun kick back relax and let it do all the work all I have to do is heal it with my wrench

Love Heavy

Dear ripntear045771

The Spy's Ambassador that way ah can shoot him anytime he comes near me or my nest with his own weapon at that

Love the Engineer


	113. Chapter 113

Dear The Administrator,

No. They broke into my company and defiled the wallpaper with childish scribbles.

Why did you hire such children?

It is very hard to write when you hear someone screaming from down the hall about their neck being snapped in two.

From a businesswoman to another, what did the personal portfolio say to the filing cabinet?

\- Lucy

Dear Lucy

Oh I'm more than a business woman and if my mercs are bothering you I could always have them "take care of you" to solve the problem and please my mercs have way better things to do then break into your company and defile the wall paper unlike you they actually have lives you should try getting one I heard they're on sale this week

Hate the Administrator


	114. Chapter 114

Dear Mercs,

Miss Pauling, this is aimed at you too.

If you could swap to a different class for one day, which would you pick and why?

Also, Scout. what would you do if you couldn't run as fast anymore?

Love Phoenix.

PS, Spy is my favorite.

Dear Phoenix

If I couldn't run as fast anymore then I'd retire and cry then I'd become a baseball player I think I'd be Medic because I've always wondered what it would be like to be the Medic

Love da Scout

Dear Phoenix

I'd be an Engineer just to see how his contraptions work mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Phoenix

I would be a Scout because he's my son

Love the Spy

Dear Phoenix

I WOULD BE A DEMOMAN BEUCASE HE'S MY BUDDY

Love the Soldier

Dear Phoenix

I would be a Engineer because I feel like he's the only one who gets me

Love the Pyro

Dear Phoenix

I would be a Soldier because his class is the only one other than mine that doesn't suck

Love the Demoman

Dear Phoenix

I vould try being Heavy that vay he could pocket me for once

Love zhe Medic

Dear Phoenix

Heavy would pick Sniper then Heavy would make sure to snipe actual Sniper as a was it Engineer he said?

Love Heavy

Dear Phoenix

Ah would like to try being all classes if possible Ah've always wanted to see the battle from their prospective

Love the Engineer

Dear Phoenix

But I don't have a class and I certainly don't want to be any of the crazy lunatics (no not even Scout)

Love Miss Pauling


	115. Chapter 115

The chapters are repeating themselves and how are you Pyro? And here *Box full of different colored fireworks and 3 smaller boxes of cookies* I how your win alot!

Love RoofSCat

Dear RoofSCat

I'm fine thank you and thanks for the fireworks and cookies wanna come watch them with me sometime?

Love the Pyro


	116. Chapter 116

Dear Everyone (including Mass Pauling, The Dmin, Saxton Hale, etc.)

2 questions:

1: How do you all fedl about Lucy the Medic?

2: Are you aware of the people who play as you? Who's your favorite? (this does not apply to any non-mercs.)

Love Prof

Dear Prof

Lucy the Medic is da whiniest baby It's ever been my displeasure to speak to and what do you mean the people who play as us do people like cosplay or something

Love da Scout

Dear Prof

Well mate she's ok even tho she called us childish and yea like Scout people play as us?

Love the Sniper

Dear Prof

She is ok I guess and some freak better not be going around as me

Love the Spy

Dear Prof

LUCY THE MEDIC IS A WHINIE CLASSLESS BRAT WHO NEEDS TO SHUT HER MOUTH BEFORE I SHUT IT FOR HER WHAT DO YOU MEAN PEOPLE PLAY AS US

Love the Soldier

Dear Prof

I like Lucy the Medic she's not afraid to voice her opinion plus its kinda funny how riled up Scout is hahaha

Love the Pyro

Dear Prof

I simply told the lassie to make up with Scout and now I'm childish apparently well humph fine then and who plays as me?

Love the Demoman

Dear Prof

Vell she has Medic in her name so I'm going to assume I'm her favorite so she's fine vith me also do you know how many people play Tf2 how in zhe vorld vould ve pick someone who's our favorite

Love zhe Medic

Soldier "THAT WALL MAGGOT THAT WALL"

Medic "ja ja I know"

Dear Prof

Heavy see's Lucy as a baby like rest of them Heavy hardly likes teammates except doktor so Heavy finds it hard to like a baby who plays as him

Love Heavy

Dear Prof

Well ah reckon Lucy has a right to speak her mind umm play as me?

Love the Engineer

Dear Prof

I think Lucy telling the Scout that I will never date him is interesting

Love Miss Pauling

Dear Prof

I'm sorry who's Lucy?

Love Saxton Hale

Dear Prof

Shes getting on my nerves that's for sure she better leave Scout alone (I secretly have a fangirl crush on him OMG he's so cute do not tell him I said that or else)

Love the Administrator

A/N THE MERCS ARE UNAWARE THEY ARE IN A VIDEO GAME SO TO THEM YOU GUYS SOUND LIKE CRAZY PEOPLE WHEN ASKING QUESTIONS ABOUT IT


	117. Chapter 117

Dear Sniper, um... h-here... *shyly holds out a koala plush to him*

Dear Heavy, what's your favorite kind of sandvich?

Dear Soldier, favorite bird?

Dear Spy, Please don't stab me, you're one of my favorite characters!

Love Jeff's Icy dragon of Minecraft

Dear Jeff

Thanks mate *grabs it and hands you an old kukri of his*

Love the Sniper

Dear Jeff

Heavy loves a sandvich with white bread ham lettuce tomatoes and cheese

Love Heavy

Dear Jeff

MY FAVORITE BIRD IS A BALD EAGLE OF COURSE IT'S THE AMERICAN BIRD

Love the Soldier

Dear Jeff

Hmm *sheaths his knife" ok but do not touch my mask and thanks for saying I'm one of your favorites

Love the Spy


	118. Chapter 118

Yeah and whats your favorite movie so we can watch it mine is The Avergers!

Love the RoofSCat

Dear RoofSCat

My favorite movie is Spiderman so yea lets watch both our favorite movies some time whenever you are ready I'll let you in to Red base and we can watch away!

Love the Pyro


	119. Chapter 119

Dear mercs, Saxton Hale, Miss Pauling and Administrator,

How does it feel to have a decade old game with over a million players dedicated to your exploits and jobs?

P.S. No I mean a game dedicated to all of you not that you are all game characters.

Love DimensionRider

Dear DimensionRider

I bet I'm da most popular merc

Love da Scout

Dear DimensionRider

Wow mate are our lives that interesting?

Love the Sniper

Dear DimensionRider

Well its not surprising given how awesome we are

Love the Spy

Dear DimensionRider

WELL MAGGOT HOW DO YOU MAGGOTS KNOW ABOUT OUR LIVES ARE YOU STALKING US OR SOMETHING!?

Love the Soldier

Dear DimensionRider

*waves to the fans*

Love the Pyro

Dear DimensionRider

Well we are very interesting people

Love the Demoman

Dear DimensionRider

Vell zhats nice to know people love us

Love zhe Medic

Dear DimensionRider

Heavy decides to loosen up a bit *blows the fans a kiss*

Love Heavy

Dear DimensionRider

That's really nice to know people are interested in us

Love the Engineer

Dear DimensionRider

People are interested in me? I'm just an assistant

Love Miss Pauling

Dear DimensionRider

*flexes for the camera*

Love Saxton Hale

Dear DimensionRider

Oh brother *rolls eyes*

Hate the Administrator


	120. Chapter 120

Dear Sniper: *hugs old Kukri close* T-Thank you! *squeals internally*

Dear Demo: Have you seen any of Michael Bay's movies? You would like them, then have a ton of explosions in them

Dear Scout: Sonic, Rainbow Dash, and the Flash are much faster than you

Dear Administrator: *throws book at you* Be gone Witch!

Love Jeff's icy dragon of Minecraft

Dear Jeff

Your welcome mate glad you enjoy it

Love the Sniper

Dear Jeff

I haven't but I will definitely check them out lad

Love the Demoman

Dear Jeff

Pfft puhlease *waves hand dismissively*

Love da Scout

Dear Jeff

EXCUSE ME!

Hate the Administrator


	121. Chapter 121

Dear Heavy, since you're the one usually paired with Medic, how does it feel when you are Ubered?

Dear Saxton Hale, since you both have really strong punches, how do you feel about Doomfist from Overwatch?

Lastly, to all the Mercs, if you guys had an Ultimate move, what would it be?

Love Phoenix

Dear Phoenix

Umm when doktor ubers me Heavy feels no gay feeling towards him just gratitude and my ultimate move would be Earth Slam

Love Heavy

Dear Phoenix

Doomfist is a loser punk who sucks mate he doesn't even compare to me

Love Saxton Hale

Dear Phoenix

I already have one the Homerun taunt is ultimate

Love da Scout

Dear Phoenix

Well mate my ultimate move would be Head Popper

Love the Sniper

Dear Phoenix

Mine would be Shred You Like Cheese

Love the Spy

Dear Phoenix

MY MOVE WOULD BE PATRIOT

Love the Soldier

Dear Phoenix

Mine would be Fizzle

Love the Pyro

Dear Phoenix

My move would be Power Bomb

Love Demoman

Dear Phoenix

Vell zhe Ubercharge kinda is mien ultimate move

Love zhe Medic

Dear Phoenix

I would build a crit sentry gun

Love the Engineer


	122. Chapter 122

YAY MOVIE NIGHT! I really can wait I haven see spiderman yet so it should be fun and after wards can I try your flame thrower? And to scout Ms Pauling would be more open to date you if you give her space and I think you would knew its nice to be alone once in a while, I am not saying it to be rude but you should also try to listen to what she likes and let her talk about it and make sure when to talk to her DO NOT I REPETE DO NOT make the intier conversation about you talk a little bit about you but try not to sound like an egotisical prick. That is the salty spys job. As so I do think its cool that you can dubble jump.

Love RoofSCat

Dear RoofSCat

Yea movie night! And sure you can try my flamethrower

Love the Pyro

Dear RoofSCat

First of all what are ya a freakin moron who doesn't know how to spell It's double jump and repeat and entire and egotistical plus I know its cool I can DOUBLE jump

Love da Scout


	123. Chapter 123

Dear engie,

Firstly a crit sentry gun is just terrifying no matter which level. Secondly have you considered creating a building that can produce barriers similair to medic's medi-shield? I believe that would be useful.

Dear Graymann (Is that how you spell it?),

Have you considered sending an entire wave of giant robots of all classes with different weapons. I believe it would make it much easier to fight the mercs seeing as the bomb immediately grants resistances, crits and healing the moment a giant bot carries it so it would force the mercs to be on their toes seeing as each weapon has different effects. (Also send 999 spies just to annoy them as well)

P.S. To mercs: I thought you might like a challenge. So infinite cash against my suggested wave?

Love DimensionRider

Dear DimensionRider

IKR

Love the Engineer

Dear DimensionRider

Why are you talking to me?

Love Graymann

Dear DimensionRider

Your freaking insane dats impossible

Love da Scout

Dear DimensionRider

I agree mate that sounds impossible

Love the Sniper

Dear DimensionRider

I'll pass on that

Love the Spy

Dear DimensionRider

BRING IT ON

Love the Soldier

Dear DimensionRider

Sure I'll give it a try

Love the Pyro

Dear DimensionRider

Come on I say ill be waiting for ye

Love the Demoman

Dear DimensionRider

I'll pass

Love zhe Medic

Dear DimensionRider

Heavy accepts challenge

Love Heavy


	124. Chapter 124

Heavy, i just wanted to apologize for my last message. When i said about you being paired with Medic, i meant being teamed up with him on the battlefield. I didn't mean to imply you two were a couple. Sorry for any confusion.

Love Phoenix

Dear Phoenix

It is ok Heavy was not mad

Love Heavy


	125. Chapter 125

Dear Spy: between you and me, I m-may have a slight crush on Sniper... TELL NO ONE!

Dear Saxton Hale: Why is your chest hair shaped like Australia?

Dear Pyro: Do you like kittens?

Love Jeff's Icy Dragon of Minecraft

Dear Jeff

Why the heck would you have a crush on Sniper he's filthy and a loser are you blind or retarded?

Love the Spy

Dear Jeff

Because I'm that freaking awesome mate

Love Saxton Hale

Dear Jeff

Yes! I love kittens almost as much as unicorns

Love the Pyro


	126. Chapter 126

Dear Pyro, Good! Cause I gots five kittehs with me *holds them up*

Dear Spy, Neither. He's down to earth and polite, the opposite of you right now...

Dear Sniper, *sniffles with tears in my eyes* SPY CALLED ME RETARDED!

Dear Engineer, what do you think of the animatronics from FNAF?

Love Jeff

Dear Jeff

Aw those kittens are cute!

Love the Pyro

Dear Jeff

Its not my fault you have a crush on a Australian freak

Love the Spy

Dear Jeff

Aww there there mate *pats back*

Love the Sniper

Dear Jeff

They are interesting I'd love to get a closer look

Love the Engineer


	127. Chapter 127

Hey guys :)

Even though I said I would hang out with scout I really would rather hang out with engie and sniper. With engie we can talk about our families and swap stories. With sniper we could enjoy natue and maybe see if we have anything else in common. To everyone what would you do if you were a ghost for a week?

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

Wow jerk thanks for saying you'd hang out with me but saying you prefer to hang out with engineer and Sniper why don't you go hang out with them then see if I care!

Love feelings hurt Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

I would scare the crap out of people

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

Well I'm already a ghost invisible and scary

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

I WOULD GO THROUGH WALLS AND DOORS AND POSSES THE OTHERS' BEDS WHILE THEY'RE SLEEPING

Love the Soldier

Dear Rikusolo84

I'm scared of ghosts

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

Can I still blow things up?

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

I vould go to Blu base and make everyone pee zhier pants

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

Heavy would possess bear and go around as a bear

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

Ah would use it to put my sentry gun in impossible to reach places that way no one can destroy it

Love the Engineer


	128. Chapter 128

I'm glad you've forgiven me, Heavy. Here, as a gift. * shows Heavy a giant Sandvich. *

Pyro, since many people think you as a freak, allow me to cheer you up. * Opens a portal to a world filled with Unicorns, Rainbows and candy. *

Engineer, how did it feel when you built your very first Sentry?

Demo, how are you able to fight so well while being drunk?

Sniper and Spy, what made you gentlemen despise each other?

Love Phoenix

Dear Phoenix

Thanks

Love Heavy

Dear Phoenix

You mean like Pyroland? Sound great!

Love the Pyro

Dear Phoenix

It was great ah felt very accomplished and proud

Love the Engineer

Dear Phoenix

It's the only way I can fight lad

Love the Demoman

Dear Phoenix

He's a stupid filthy rotten nasty disgusting freak who throws jars of pee plus I guess its because we kinda have the same job to take out high value targets such as Heavies and Medics

Love the Spy

Dear Phoenix

Yea he thinks he's better than me but he's not he thinks he's sooo great just because he wears fancy suits and ties please that stuff is only for show it means nothing

Love the Sniper


	129. Chapter 129

Yeah sorry I have a hard time spelling so apologies Scout. And thanks for telling me, most don't and make fun of it so thanks for only pointing it out. Pyro I really don't have anything to ask or say this time so here are some fireworks and a 50 packet of lighters, So I hope you're doing good! And Scout how far can you hit a baseball? I am betting its over 50 meters! P.S. I really like your class after the Pyro it has to be fun to jump around the map.

Love RoofSCat

Dear RoofSCat

*sighs* I could have been nicer about it I'm sorry I shouldn't have called you a freaking moron I can hit a baseball across the universe if I wanted

Love da Scout

Dear RoofSCat

Thanks! I'm doing fine wear your pajamas for movie night ok *thumbs up*

Love the Pyro


	130. Chapter 130

Dear Demo, What's your favorite brand of alcohol?

Dear Sniper, C-Can I stay over here by you? I-I'm mad at Spy right now *sniff*

Dear Soldier, What do you think about people in the Navy?

Dear Scout, favorite baseball team?

Dear Medic, what if I told you I have relatives from Germany?

Love Jeff

Dear Jeff

Me Scrumpy is my favorite

Love the Demoman

Dear Jeff

Sure you can stay be me as long as you like

Love the Sniper

Dear Jeff

I THINK ANYONE IN ANY BRANCH OF THE MILITARY ARE HEROES THEY ARE FIGHTING FOR THIS COUNTRY

Love the Soldier

Dear Jeff

Duh the red sox

Love da Scout

Dear Jeff

Zhats cool do zhey like it zhere

Love zhe Medic


	131. Chapter 131

Hey guys :)

Sorry scout I'm just being honest. Anyway pyro what is your nationality (Mexican, Japanese, African just to name a few examples)? Hey engie and sniper, here I made this for you guys *gives small stuffed pyro dolls to both men* to alert you if a spy is near. Heavy you can have this *gives small stuffed medic doll* so it can alert you if you're about to be headshot or incoming rockets. Medic have this red crystal I found *gives medic crystal* it'll help you charge your uber faster. Sorry about the rest of you guys I don't know what will help but let me know. P.S. sorry this is long Freaky

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

Ok its cool screw you too I'm just being honest *flips you the bird*

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

America is where I grew up however I don't really know where I'm from

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

Thanks mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

Thank you kindly

Love the Engineer

Dear Rikusolo84

Thanks

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

Danke its pretty

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

It's ok there's no limit on how long the letters are

Love Freaky

Dear Rikusolo84

I keep the mercs well stocked so they don't need your mary sue items *confiscates the items*

Hate the Administrator

Medic (pfft buzzkill)


	132. Chapter 132

How come you didn't include my PS?

Love Phoenix

Dear Phoenix

I'm sorry it didn't show up but the Soldier stared singing Proud to be an American

Love Freaky


	133. Chapter 133

I'M FINALLY OUT OF THE HOSPITAL I STILL NEED TO STAY OFF MY LEG AND REST SO UPDATES MIGHT BE SLOW FOR AWHILE BUT I WILL AS SOON AS I CAN

Alright! And Scout apology accepted, can you show me how to alway it the ball? I am not really good at baseball. Pyro yes you can but I get to wear yours!

Love RoofSCat

Dear RoofSCat

Um I don't get what your asking but if its to show you have to play then sure

Love da Scout

Dear RoofSCat

You want to wear my pink unicorn onesie pajamas? Ok sure you can

Love the Pyro


	134. Chapter 134

Dear Medic, I think they like it there. They're from my step-dad's side, and sadly I haven't had the opportunity to meet them personally

Dear Sniper, T-Thank you...

Dear Spy, *ignores you*

Love Jeff

Dear Jeff

Oh vell hopefully you meet zhem soon

Love zhe Medic

Dear Jeff

No problem

Love the Sniper

Dear Jeff

Why would you write a letter to ignore me that's completely moronic

Love the Spy 


	135. Chapter 135

Dear Freaky, it's okay. I thought something was amiss since you included other PS, but not mine.

Dear Mercs, have you ever gotten a kill that you were really proud of?

Dear Sniper and Saxton Hale, do you two get along since you're both Australian?

Dear Mrs Pauling, if you have time to answer. How hard is your job?

Dear everyone, what Class do you think i would be if i was in Team Fortress 2? I'm fast, confident, very observant, tricky and i can be stealthy when i need to be. I'm also skilled with a sword.

Love Phoenix

Dear Phoenix

I do not play favorites it was merely an accident

Love Freaky

Dear Phoenix

Yea I bet da Heavy to death wit my bat you sound like a Gary Stu to me

Love da Scout

Dear Phoenix

I headshot the Scout while he was jumping around ha dropped that bloke! Anyways I guess me and Hale get along ok and you would be a…. I'm sorry mate all classes are taken

Love the Sniper

Dear Phoenix

I backstabbed a Pyro while he was guarding an Engineer's nest hmmm you sound like Scout but we already have one of those and one is QUITE enough thank you

Love the Spy

Dear Phoenix

YEA THE KILL I'M MOST PROUD OF IS ALL THE NAZIS I KILLED IN WWII! AND IF YOU WERE A CLASS YOU'D BE WORHTLESS MAGGOT

Love the Soldier

Dear Phoenix

I once deflected a crit rocket back at a Soldier he was so mad hmmm maybe you could be like a ninja or something

Love the Pyro

Dear Phoenix

I blew a Scout to bits when he tried to outrun me ha just because he's fast doesn't mean he's exempt lad you sound like you'd make a good pretty wallflower

Love the Demoman

Dear Phoenix

I killed an Engineer vith mien syringe gun I don't know maybe help zhe Scout

Love zhe Medic

Dear Phoenix

Heavy survived being headshot and then Heavy killed Sniper Heavy thinks you sound like leetle Scout

Love Heavy

Dear Phoenix

Ah really just let my sentry get all the kills but I shot a Spy that sapped my sentry yea I think I have to agree that you sound like Scout

Love the Engineer

Dear Phoenix

My job is like try to teach a blind and deaf cat to swim

Love Miss Pauling

Dear Phoenix

You I like Sniper he's a good bloke

Love Saxton Hale


	136. Chapter 136

Hey guys :)

I don't remember if this has been asked or not but what are your favorite fruits? This includes Freaky and Pauling. Administrator why would you take away things that could benefit the mercs with their services to you so that you don't have to waste time and money to replace them if needed? Because it's obvious that you don't care for anyone who are useless to you or does that also include the mercs.

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

My favorite fruit is a pear

Love Freaky

Dear Rikusolo84

Fruits are for losas I only eat hotdogs and drink Bonk

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

A nice juicy sweet peach is my favorite

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

Apple

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

YOU KNOW WHEN I WENT TO GERMANY AND WENT ON A NAZI KILLING SPREE THEY HAD THESE DELICIOUS PINEAPPLES THAT I ATE OVER THEIR STUPID BODIES

Love the Soldier

Dear Rikusolo84

Starfruit is amazing if you haven't tried it you have to!

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

Kiwi

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

I rather enjoy Plums

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

Orange

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

Back in Texas we had a pear tree in our backyard I loves those things

Love the Engineer

Dear Rikusolo84

That's the point you fool! To make their jobs as hard as possible I don't care about them at all (except maybe Scout he's so cute) they are merely pawns to me

Hate the Administrator


	137. Chapter 137

Dear Helen,

You didn't reply to my joke, Oh well.

Anyway, I'm investing in some new mercs of my own. Any suggestions?

And do you all hate me or that just some sharky attitude everyone in this here Fanfic have?

-Lucy

Dear Lucy

*sighs* why are you still talking to me? and good luck hiring mercs you don't remotely have what it takes to manage mercs

Hate the Administrator


	138. Chapter 138

Dear Everyone,

I can also see your replies. So be careful what you stat.

The 'game' you're in is set in the late 1960's to early 1970's so I'm guessing you've never heard a girl talk her mind, eh? Feminism was in full swing during the late 60's early 70's for your information.

And I will never apologize to Scout. He's an arrogant little brat who will never understand the consequence of his own actions. Nor will he ever realize that he will never get laid if he acts like a child.

Least my vocabulary is more expansive than his.

His efforts are futile.

Sincerely,

Lucy

Dear Lucy

Don't start wit dat feminism crap just take your stupid butt back to the kitchen where all women belong and your efforts are futile you've turned all the mercs against ya wit your whiny crap what would you do if we showed up at your house? Dats right crap your pants and beg us not to do the world a fava and blow your stupid brains out

Love da Scout

Dear Lucy

Well mate I'm too childish to talk to ya plus do I care if you see my replies *loads gun* I think not

Love the Sniper

Dear Lucy

And your point is?

Love the Spy

Dear Lucy

MAGGOT I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S BEHIND IF YOU CAN SEE MY REPLIES WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT WHINE TO YOUR LITTLE MAGGOT MOMMY AND I DO NOT CARE ABOUT FEMINISM ITS JUST A BUNCH OF WHINY WOMEN CRYING OVER STUPID THINGS WHILE MEN GET THE JOB DONE!

Love the Soldier

Dear Lucy

*thumbs up*

Love the Pyro

Dear Lucy

Yea lassie you called us childish so we are not friends

Love the Demoman

Dear Lucy

I'm going to have to correct you zhat game actually takes place in zhe late 70's early 80's

Love zhe Medic

Scout " get your facts straight you freaking moron before you go on a little rant like a retarded toddler"

Dear Lucy

Heavy cares not if tiny baby see's Heavy's response Heavy dares leetle baby to do something

Love Heavy

Dear Lucy

I didn't get an attitude with ya I agreed with ya

Love the Engineer


	139. Chapter 139

:Dear Writer,

In my honest opinion, your writing is just annoying. Try writing an actual full length fan fiction before you go assuming others can not write.

And that doesn't really include 1-3 one shot chapters.

(I would like to remain anonymous. Thank you very much)

Love Guest

Dear Guest

I'm sorry you didn't enjoy the story I have no idea what you are talking about I never once said anything about anyone's writing and I never said you couldn't be anonymous

Love Freaky


	140. Chapter 140

Hey guys :)

Scout the Administrator thinks you're cute and that all the mercs are nothing but toys to be thrown away once she finds all of you useless to her. What do you think about that? Also, if I made you guys a paracord bracelet what color(s) would you want them to be?

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

Uhhh she does? dats really creepy make mine red

Love a very disturbed Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

Oh we already know she doesn't care mate the woman is completely psycho red and blue for me

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

Uh I'm a psycho assassin does it look like I want your bracelet and yes I'm aware the Administrator hates everything

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

BRACELTS ARE FOR LITTLE GIRLS WE ARE MEN

Love the Soldier

Dear Rikusolo84

Make mine rainbow! And have you seen that woman it's not really surprising

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

That lass is as sick as the day is long I guess make mine brown

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

Make mine vhite it vill be red soon anyvays and ja ve know she hates us

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

Heavy thinks bracelets are for babies were killers Administrator is sick and twisted even for Heavy

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

Make mine yellow we know were just pawns to her

Love the Engineer

Dear Rikusolo84

How many times do I have to tell you stupid people to stay out of my business well it looks like Miss Pauling is going to have to pay you a visit don't worry it will be a short visit very short

Hate the Administrator


	141. Chapter 141

Dear Sniper, I've been thinking about taking archery lessons and I heard you're pretty good at that in addition to sniping. Do you think you can give me some tips?

Dear Pyro, *hands a giant unicorn plush* Here you go!

Dear Mercs, do any of you have a phobia of something? I know I do...

Love Jeff

Dear Jeff

Sure mate meet me at my camper at nine am and then we'll go practice and I'm afraid of *whispers* spiders

Love the Sniper

Dear Jeff

Thanks! *thumbs up* I don't like water

Love the Pyro

Dear Jeff

Pfft no

Love the Spy

Dear Jeff

Da Soldier getting naked

Love da Scout

Dear Jeff

NO WE FEAR NOTHING AND DESTROY EVERYTHING

Love the Soldier

Dear Jeff

Spilled alcohol its just sick

Love the Demoman

Dear Jeff

I'm scared of hospitals zhey are too sterile zhats vhy I never vorked in one

Love zhe Medic

Dear Jeff

Heavy fears nothing except Pyro

Love Heavy

Dear Jeff

I admit storms make me nervous

Love the Engineer


	142. Chapter 142

Yeah I want to know how to play Baseball and I wouldn't mind wearing the onesie.

Love RoofScat

Dear RoofSCat

Your learning from da best so try not to swoon

Love da Scout

Dear RoofScat

Ok then you can wear it

Love the Pyro


	143. Chapter 143

This isn't a letter. It's a review.

Your writing is plain s*** and there is no way to tell the difference between characters.

If these are letters, the way a person talks will not affect the writing. Writing is different from talking. You cannot tell if the person has an accent or not.

It's frustrating reading this story. The way you write it makes me want to throw my laptop out of the window. Read a book or something about this stuff, because it isn't working!

I apologize if you take offense to this. It's called constructive criticism. Learn from your mistakes. If you don't you repeat them.

-Lucy

Normally I don't believe in being rude back to a rude person but I hate when people claim constructive criticism that is just plain rude not constructive but you don't seem like you have anything nice to say anyway and I guess I'll say I'm sorry you didn't enjoy the story but you know the policy don't like don't read feel free to move onto another story I'm not going to let your and that guests negative reviews discourage me from writing my fic is working just fine thank you very much and have a nice day

-Freaky


	144. Chapter 144

Dear mercs, what's your opinion on feminism?

Love Dead to be forgotten

Dear Dead

Women need to shut up and get back in da kitchen where they belong

Love da Scout

Dear Dead

I mean its their opinion and they are entitled to it

Love the Sniper

Dear Dead

Feminism is stupid

Love the Spy

Dear Dead

ITS JUST ABOUT WOMEN WHINING OVER STUPID STUFF WHILE MEN GET THE JOB DONE!

Love the Soldier

Dear Dead

What is feminism?

Love the Pyro

Dear Dead

I haven't really been around it much

Love the Demoman

Dear Dead

Zhats vhy ve don't have any vomen in zhe team

Love zhe Medic

Dear Dead

Heavy thinks women should find real problem before they start griping

Love Heavy

Dear Dead

I guess in some countries women do have it bad

Love the Engineer


	145. Chapter 145

Dear everyone,

How do you feel about Lucy the Medic?

How did you feel on your very first day as a Merc?

Love Phoenix

Dear Phoenix

I think Lucy is a loser who acts tough but she really isn't I was nervous on my first day

Love da Scout

Dear Phoenix

She is annoying as crap mate I was excited on my first day

Love the Sniper

Dear Phoenix

She is rude and mean and deserves a backstab my first day was great

Love the Spy

Dear Phoenix

LUCY IS AN ANNOYING MAGGOT THAT NEEDS TO SHUT HER MOUTH BEFORE I SHUT IT FOR HER MY FIRST DAY AS A MERC I TOTALLY SAVED THE DAY

Love the Soldier

Dear Phoenix

She's mean my first day I burned the base down

Love the Pyro

Dear Phoenix

I think that lassie is miserable and misery loves company I got drunk on my first day

Love the Demoman

Dear Phoenix

I am ashamed zhat she has Medic in her name my first day went great lots of experiments

Love zhe Medic

Dear Phoenix

Heavy would like to give that annoying baby a taste of Sasha my first day was exhausting

Love Heavy

Dear Phoenix

She has a nasty attitude alright ah was scared on my first day

Love the Engineer


	146. Chapter 146

I'd rather think I would be in awe that swoon. And sorry Pyro got no questions today but I hope you're doing well.

Love RoofSCat

Dear RoofSCat

Whateva

Love da Scout

Dear RoofSCat

I'm fine thanks

Love the Pyro


	147. Chapter 147

Dear mercs,

Did all of you start on the same day or were you added to the team gradually? Also am I right to say that you were able to murder everyone on your first day spy since nobody thought of spy checking? BTW medic, i believe it is a war crime to harm you/medics in battle but nobody cares do they?

Love DimensionRider

Dear DimensionRider

We all started at different times and yes I did backstab the whole team

Love the Spy

Dear DimensionRider

Nope zhey target me so I can't ubercharge

Love zhe Medic


	148. Chapter 148

Dear Sniper, YAY! *hugs him tightly* Thank you!

Dear Spy, Everyone is afraid of something...

Dear everyone, feel free to call me Icy. I'm a girl, and being called Jeff feels kinda strange to me...

Love Icy

Dear Icy

No problem mate how about a lunch break huh I know this nice restaurant in town

Love the Sniper

Dear Icy

Not me

Love the Spy

Dear Icy

You got it dude

Love da Scout


	149. Chapter 149

Hey guys :)

First off; Administrator you can't do anything to me since it's obvious I'm still here and even if you did I'm not scared. Second; paracord bracelets, necklaces, etc are good in survival situations and if you wanna hang, tie up, strangle or whatever else you can think of ways to kill with a rope you can do with paracord. Just to give some ideas into paracord based items. Third; what would you guys do in a zombie apocalypse if you had to permanently live in that kind of world?

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

You clearly want to die

Hate the Administrator

Dear Rikusolo84

If I was in da apocalypse I would show off my muscles then all da zombies would obey me

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

Good sniping practice

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

Backstab galore

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

I WOULD GO ON A ZOMBIE KILLING SPREE COVERED IN HONEY

Love the Soldier

Dear Rikusolo84

Burn all the zombies!

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

Hmm I could have all the alcohol in the world

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

Vell I vould practice medicine on zhe zombies

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

Heavy shoot them to bits and then eat sandvich

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

Sheeeeooot after all we've seen I wouldn't be surprised

Love the Engineer


	150. Chapter 150

Dear Mercs, what are your favorite kinds of food?

How old are you guys? I don't expect Spy to answer since that's probably classified information.

Demo and Soldier, how are you both able to rocket/sticky jump and be unharmed?

Heavy, it's obvious you care very much for Sasha. How long have you had her?

Love Phoenix

Dear Phoenix

I'm 23

Love da Scout

Dear Phoenix

Its rude to ask people their age mate I'm just kidding I'm 42

Love the Sniper

Dear Phoenix

I'll tell you I'm 49

Love the Spy

Dear Phoenix

I'M 45

Love the Soldier

Dear Phoenix

44

Love the Pyro

Dear Phoenix

45

Love the Demoman

Dear Phoenix

I am 44

Love zhe Medic

Dear Phoenix

Heavy is 47 and Heavy has had Sasha since he was 16

Love Heavy

Dear Phoenix

41

Love the Engineer


	151. Chapter 151

:Dear red mercs

I prefer blu team also who is the best class

Love Guest

Dear Guest

Me duh

Love da Scout

Dear Guest

I think I do the most important job mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Guest

Spy all the way

Love the Spy

Dear Guest

THE ONLY THING YOU NEED IS A GOOD SOLDIER

Love the Soldier

Dear Guest

Well some people hate Pyro and think its an OP class so I must be doing something right

Love the Pyro

Dear Guest

Stickie bombs dynamite and Scrumpy are what make Demoman the best class

Love the Demoman

Dear Guest

I'm most important zhey vould all be dead if it wasn't for me

Love zhe Medic

Dear Guest

Heavy can carry a match easily

Love Heavy

Dear Guest

Aint no support like a good Engineer

Love the Engineer


	152. Chapter 152

:Im sorry medic but your question from Ch 49 was which MODERN song. Stayin alive does not count becuz the song is over 40 years old

Love Guest

Dear Guest

It's modern to me! Ok I happen to be an old man

Love zhe Medic


	153. Chapter 153

Dear Sniper: Sure!

Dear Medic: Have you seen a small sunset orange wolf/bear hybrid animatronic in a white dress? That's one of my OCs named Freya, and I need to find her because she's only 5 and it's too dangerous for her to be running around alone. I'm asking you because she likes to play doctor and the most likely place she might end up is the medbay.

Also, Freya wanted this letter to be given to Spy.

Dear Mister Spy, Hi I'm Freya! Can you tell Mister Sniper that Icy likes him?

Love Icy

Dear Icy

I hope you enjoyed it

Love the Sniper

Dear Icy

Ooh do you mind if I run some experiments on her

Love zhe Medic

Dear Freya

Ugh fine

Love the Spy

Spy "Icy likes you"

Sniper " I kinda figured that mate" 


	154. Chapter 154

Well question to all merc's What is the best thing about your job? And Scout here *Gives cookies, cake and atomic punch bonk* I got not question for you but here. Pyro! Can I have a hug? And I really think all of you guys are great!

Love RoofSCat

Dear RoofSCat

A certain secretary and thanks

Love da Scout

Dear RoofSCat

Sniping by far

Love the Sniper

Dear RoofScat

Pretending to be on blu team then stabbing them in the back

Love the Spy

Dear RoofSCat

KILLING BLUS

Love the Soldier

Dear RoofSCat

Sure *hugs* and setting things on fire

Love the Pyro

Dear RoofSCat

Blowing crap up

Love the Demoman

Dear RoofSCat

Vatching the others die in brutal violent vays

Love zhe Medic

Dear RoofSCat

Giving Sasha plenty of exercise

Love Heavy

Dear RoofSCat

Sitting in my nest and watching my sentry gun swivel and shoot blus to bits

Love the Engineer


	155. Chapter 155

Hey guys :)

What would you do if you were in a world with robots that behave like humans with no humans but you?

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

Uhhh have you not played Mann vs Machine we hate robots

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

That would be weird but not the weirdest I've seen mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

Well I would just kill them like we did before

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

KILL THEM ALL

Love the Soldier

Dear Rikusolo84

Go on a burning spree

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

Do they like alcohol?

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

Experiment on zhem

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

Heavy would be ok as long as they are

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

That would suck ah don't think ah could live in a world where these lunatics are the only other humans

Love the Engineer


	156. Chapter 156

:Dear all mercs

Will Deadpool ever join the team

Love Guest

Dear Guest

Numba one who da heck is deadpool numba two NO there are no more slots for anyone else not your ocs or mary sues eitha

Love da Scout


	157. Chapter 157

:Dear scout

Are you and miss paulen still dating

Love Guest

Dear Guest

We neva really started dating

Love da Scout


	158. Chapter 158

To the Mercs,

What are 3 tips you would suggest for playing as your Class?

Saxton Hale, is there anyone you've fought who's beaten you?

Miss Pauling, If you want, i could teleport you somewhere away from your job so you could have a proper holiday.

Love Phoenix

Dear Phoenix

Look dude we already gave you freaking morons tips what more do you want

Love da Scout

Dear Phoenix

NO and this question makes me want to go beat up stress bears

Love Saxton Hale

Dear Phoenix

Well that's not possible but thanks for the offer

Love Miss Pauling


	159. Chapter 159

Hey guys :)

What I meant was you alone and not with any of the other mercs with you (or Pauling for you scout). Anyways here are some gifts for all of you. USA flags of all sizes for soldier, your favorite home cooked meal from your mom for scout, an engieteddy holding a Texas flag for engie, bagpipes for demo, a stuffed toy koala holding a boomerang for sniper, a lot of pashtiet (I don't know how to spell that sorry) and crackers for heavy, a beer tankard that says "redrum" on it for medic and bird baths for your doves, my little pony toys for pyro, and last but not least this briefcase of antique knives for spy (underneath are pictures of scouts mom I know you'll like don't tell scout but she told me to give them to you without scout knowing). Freaky here is a pear flavored cake for you 3

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

Thanks very much

Love Freaky

Dear Rikusolo84

Thank you I missed ma's cooking

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

Thanks mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

Thank you for the knives and pictures

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

THANK YOU!

Love the Soldier

Dear Rikusolo84

Thanks *thumbs up*

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

Thanks lassie

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

Danke

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

Thank you

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

Ah thank you

Love the Engineer


	160. Chapter 160

find it quite rude when no one replies to a comment I made over a F*** week ago.

Love Guest

Dear Guest

What letter did I not reply to? If I missed one I'm sorry just send it again please

Ps this goes for everyone please no cussing in your letters please and thank you

Love Freaky


	161. Chapter 161

Dear Medic, NO! You can not run tests on her!

Dear Miss Pauling, I like your outfit.

Dear Spy: *gives gift, which turns out to be a new knife* I can't stay mad...

Love Icy

Dear Icy

Vell too bad if she ends up in mien lab I'm running tests so you better hope you find her first

Love zhe Medic

Dear Icy

Thanks

Love Miss Pauling

Dear Icy

I really didn't care if you were mad at me or not but thanks for the knife

Love the Spy


	162. Chapter 162

Dear blu heavy and red scout

do you hate each other

Love Arkamroyale

Dear Arkamroyale

Of course we do

Love da Scout

Dear Arkamroyale

We certainly aren't friends

Love blu Heavy


	163. Chapter 163

Bloody hell, Scout. No need to be rude. I was just asking.

Engineer, how can you Sentry tell the different between RED and BLU?

Love Phoenix

Dear Phoenix

Well don't ask repetitive questions then

Love da Scout

Dear Phoenix

Ah built it to be able to sense color so it can see red and blue it just looks at our shirts

Love the Engineer


	164. Chapter 164

Thanks Pyro and Scout what is it like to be the youngest in a family? I am the oldest but it really suckes.

Love RoofSCat

Dear RoofSCat

It sucks because everyone picks on ya I wish I was older than some of my brothers

Love da Scout

Dear RoofSCat

*thumbs up*

Love the Pyro


	165. Chapter 165

Sorry, I didn't realize i already asked that question.

Spy, how exactly does your Spy-cicle freeze people?

Love Phoenix

Dear Phoenix

It's a Australium weapon so I stab people and they freeze

Love the Spy


	166. Chapter 166

Dear Spy, how many languages do you know?

Dear Sniper, when did you realize how much you liked sniping?

Dear everyone, what's your favorite animal?

Love Icy

Dear Icy

Someone already asked that question refer to chapter 58 if you want to know our favorite animals

Love da Scout

Dear Icy

Seven

Love the Spy

Dear Icy

I first shot a sniper rifle when I was six mate I realized I had a real knack for it and I've done it ever since

Love the Sniper


	167. Chapter 167

Dear blu scout

Is red spy seriously your dad now

Love arkhamroyale

Dear Arkhamroyale

Yes he is unfortunately

Love da Scout


	168. Chapter 168

Hey guys :)

If you could get rid of one country and everyone from that country which would you pick and why?

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

Hmmm I would most likely pick France too many fags

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

France because the Spy's from there

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

Canada they are freaks with no moral code

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

GERMANY THAT WAY WE HAVE NO MORE NAZIS

Love the Soldier

Dear Rikusolo84

Iceland is it really a frozen place?

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

England for obvious reasons

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

America if all Americans are like zhe Soldier

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

America because Heavy does not like Soldier he keeps calling me soviet

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

Well that would be awful to do but ah guess ah will pick Iraq because the people there are twisted and sick

Love the Engineer


	169. Chapter 169

Dear Everyone,

What is your favorite Load-out to use?

Also, Medic. How did you create the Ubercharge?

Love Phoenix

Dear Phoenix

The stock Scattergun the winger and the pan

Love da Scout

Dear Phoenix

The stock Sniper rifle jarate and the stock kukri

Love the Sniper

Dear Phoenix

The conniver's kunai the stock invisiwatch the stock sappers and the ambassador

Love the Spy

Dear Phoenix

THE STOCK ROCKET LAUNCHER THE STOCK SHOT GUN AND THE SHOVEL CAN'T BEAT THE CLASSICS IT'S THE BEST LOADOUT FOR DEFENDING POINTS

Love the Soldier

Dear Phoenix

The rainblower the flare gun for Scouts that like to weapon heckle and the neon annihilator for pybroing

Love the Pyro

Dear Phoenix

I'll say you can't beat the classics lad the stock weapons all the way no cons only pros now keep in mind that certain weapons are good for certain things such as MVM or payload or control points

Love the Demoman

Dear Phoenix

Vell mien friend I'm a freak and I vas doing experiments one day and I decided to come up vith a vay zhat I could make zhe others invincible after many many tries and exploded hearts I finally found the right combinations anyvays mien favorite load out is zhe Crusader Crossbow zhe stock medigun and zhe vitasaw

Love zhe Medic

Dear Phoenix

The stock minigun the stock shotgun and the golden frying pan

Love Heavy

Dear Phoenix

Well my choices are limited obviously my sentry gun the stock pistol and the frontier justice (rescue ranger for MVM)

Love the Engineer


	170. Chapter 170

Dear Pyro, *gives fireworks* Go nuts!

Dear Soldier, Be nice to Medic and Germany, they're not all Nazis...

Dear Spy, have you ever embarrassed the Blu Scout and, if so, what did you do?

Dear Sniper, What would you do if I told you I've never seen a kiwi bird before?

Love Icy

Dear Icy

Thanks!

Love the Pyro

Dear Icy

I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT THEY ARENT ALL NAZIS I'LL NEVER BE NICE TO THE MEDIC I'VE GOT MY EYE ON HIM JUST WAITING FOR HIM TO START WORLD WAR THREE!

Love the Soldier

Dear Icy

Showed everyone a video of his first bath so they all saw his little Scout tushy

Love the Spy

Dear Icy

Well then I guess we'll have to go bird watching mate hahaha

Love the Sniper


	171. Chapter 171

Hey guys:)

I only asked my previous question because I'm still trying to ask things that haven't been asked before. Anyways I agree with you engie. Also do you guys have a bucket list if so what do you have written on it, and if not why?

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

Watch Expiration date sista

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

Well mate I would say my life is pretty complete except maybe my parents

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

Hmm I've been pretty much everywhere in the world I have deposited knives in hundreds of backs I have a hot woman and a son I think I'm good

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

I WANT THE BUCKET

Love the Soldier

Dear Rikusolo84

Burn the whole world down!

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

I want to open my own Scrumpy factory

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

I vant to be in a magazine Medic sexiest man alive

Love zhe Medic

Dear Riksuolo84

Heavy is content where Heavy is at

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

Ah guess ah would say get married and start a family

Love the Engineer


	172. Chapter 172

Yo scout I dare you to ask ms Pauling

Dear mercs have y'all ever played pranks on another on class and what was it

Love Arkhamroyale

Dear Arkhamroyale

Ok I will I ain't scared I once put fire ants in Spy's bed

Love da Scout

Dear Arkhamroyale

Hmm I'm not really one for pranks mate don't ya think were too old for that

Love the Sniper

Dear Arkhamroyale

Me neither that's way too immature like the Scout

Love the Spy

Dear Arkhamroyale

IF ANYONE PLAYS PRANKS ON MY WATCH THEY WILL EAT BREAD AND WATER FOR WEEKS AND GO TO BED EARLY AND HAVE TO DO PUSH UPS TILL THEY PUKE

Love the Soldier

Dear Arkhamroyale

I put all the Scout's underwear in with my red suit his undies were pink and then I pantsed him

Love the Pyro

Dear Arkhamroyale

Yea laddie we are too serious for pranks except maybe the Scout but he's an idiot so…

Love the Demoman

Dear Arkhamroyale

Ja if anyone tried to prank me I'll rip zhere hearts out

Love zhe Medic

Dear Arkhamroyale

Does Heavy look like the pranking type

Love Heavy

Dear Arkhamroyale

Ah guess your never too old for pranks but ah personally take my job too seriously

Love the Engineer


	173. Chapter 173

Demo, I guess you're right. You can't really go wrong with classic weapons. Though i think your Eyelander is better for melee then your bottle.

Miss Pauling, did you create the game-modes or was it the Administrator?

Everyone, what are your thoughts on Man verses Machine?

Phoenix.

Dear Phoenix

That was totally the Administrator only she would come up with such sick nonsense

Love Miss Pauling

Dear Phoenix

Its dumb

Love da Scout

Dear Phoenix

Good sniping practice

Love the Sniper

Dear Phoenix

Meh

Love the Spy

Dear Phoenix

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MANN VS MACHINE COORDIANTION IS KEY MAGGOT

Love the Soldier

Dear Phoenix

I'm the best at it!

Love the Pyro

Dear Phoenix

Crit stickeys enough said

Love the Demoman

Dear Phoenix

Vell it's a great opportunity for me

Love zhe Medic

Dear Phoenix

Mann robot bring them both on

Love Heavy

Dear Phoenix

Ah do my job all the same

Love the Engineer


	174. Chapter 174

Hey guys:)

Engie I think you're too sweet and smart to be a merc you deserve better as in being able to apply your smarts to help society and not be stuck in one job that won't let you do what you want invention and life wise. Medic should be free to experiment on whoever whenever he wants if he doesn't do that already.

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

Why thank you

Love the Engineer

Dear Rikusolo84

OMG IKR! (sorry I wanted to sound like a millennial)

Love zhe Medic


	175. Chapter 175

Dear Soldier, *slaps him* BE NICE OR SO HELP ME I WILL STEAL YOUR HELMET, SHOVEL, AND BUCKET AND YOU WILL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN!

Dear Sniper, I've always wanted to go bird watching! What's your favorite bird? Mine's the goldfinch!

Dear Medic, do you know everyone's blood type?

Love Icy

Dear Icy

HOW DARE YOU SLAP AND THREATEN ME MAGGOT *whips her with the disciplinary action*

Love the Soldier

Dear Icy

Canary they come in so many beautiful colors

Love the Sniper

Dear Icy

Ofcourse I do

Love zhe Medic


	176. Chapter 176

Yo scout hit me back when you do and give me details to

Gooday demo, when was the first time you started drinking and why did you start

Love Arkhamroyale

Dear Arkhamroyale

I'm riding along on some of her missions

Love da Scout

Dear Arkhamroyale

I first started drinking when I was sixteen I decided to try a drink and I've never looked back

Love the Demoman


	177. Chapter 177

Hey guys:)

Scouts mom you must have plenty of embarrassing stories from raising your boys, care to share any? Heavy you and your family should be free to live where you want and not have to worry if others are looking for you or not. You have fought for so long you deserve the rest and time with your family to explore the world and make many memories with them.

Dear Rikusolo84

Nice to meet you sweetheart I once caught Jeremy making out with his pillow hahaha and don't forget the time I made him dress like a woman and sing the national anthem anyways I have to go but nice talking to you

Love Jeremy's mother who loves him very much and hopes he remembers to change his underwear every day and eat his veggies and brush his teeth sorry this is to long

Dear Rikusolo84

Heavy agrees Heavy is tired

Love Heavy


	178. Chapter 178

Dear Sniper; SOLDIER JUST HIT ME!

Dear Spy, what's France like? I've always wanted to go but I've never had the money...

Love Icy

Dear Icy

Aww there there mate *pats her back*

Love the Sniper

Dear Icy

YOU STARTED IT MAGGOT!

Love the Soldier

Dear Icy

Ah it is a beautiful place if you got the time we've got the resources

Love the Spy


	179. Chapter 179

AFTER I FINISH ANSWERING THESE LETTERS THIS STORY IS GOING ON HOLD WHILE I GO TO THE CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL IN CALIFORNIA TO VISIT MY NEPHEW PLEASE PRAY FOR HIM I'LL LET YOU GUYS KNOW WHEN I'M BACK AND YOU CAN RESMUE SENDING IN LETTERS

Dear Mercs and Miss Pauling,

What do you all think of the rap TEAM FORTRESS 2 RAP by JT Music - "Meet The Crew"?

I know Miss Pauling isn't in it, but i feel she might have something to comment.

Saxton Hale, exactly how strong are you?

Phoenix

Dear Phoenix

I think I sound da best

Love da Scout

Dear Phoenix

I think its weird mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Phoenix

I don't rap

Love the Spy

Dear Phoenix

THAT RAP WAS SICKENING I SHOULD MAKE THE CREATOR OF IT DROP AND GIVE ME TWO HUNDRED

Love the Soldier

Dear Phoenix

I THOUGHT IT WAS FUN *claps hands*

Love the Pyro

Dear Phoenix

I think I sound the coolest

Love the Demoman

Dear Phoenix

Zhat rap vas lame

Love zhe Medic

Dear Phoenix

Ah thought it was cool

Love the Engineer

Dear Phoenix

Maybe I should make the mercs actually do a rap like that

Love Miss Pauling

Dear Phoenix

I'm so strong I can punch any species into extinction

Love Saxton Hale


	180. Chapter 180

Dear Spy: I would love to go!

Dear Soldier: I was just trying to teach you some freaking respect and tolerance! Yet you don't even seem to have that for a fellow American!

Love Icy

Dear Icy

I HAVE BEEN AT WAR SINCE WELLLLLL BEFORE YOU WERE BORN I DON'T NEED YOU TO TEACH ME RESPECT IF ANYTHING PEOPLE YOUR AGE NEED TO LEARN SOME RESPECT AND SLAPPING CERTAINLY ISNT THE WAY TO TEACH RESPECT SO GET IT TOGTHER MAGGOT

Love the Soldier

Dear Icy

Great then we can even take our private plan there

Love the Spy


	181. Chapter 181

Dear ms. Kitten what gave you the idea to make this fic

Love Arkhamroyale

Dear Arkhamroyale

*blushes* oh come now there's no need for formalities were all fanfictioners here you may call me Freaky anyways I had just starting playing TF2 last year and I thought there aren't any fics where you can talk to the mercs plus I relish the opportunity to talk to people too and I've had people who are really struggling and they just needed someone to talk to and I'm glad I could help them so it's a real blast for me

Love Freaky


	182. Chapter 182

GREAT NEWS MY NEPHEW WILL BE FINE SO WERE NOT GOING TO CALIFORNIA ANYMORE THANKS FOR YOUR PRAYERS

Hey guys :)

Freaky I hope your nephew will be alright. Mercs, if I painted portraits of each of you what would you expect to see? Same to Pauling and Saxton

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

He will be fine thanks

Love Freaky

Dear Rikusolo84

I would be shirtless with ladies drooling and swooning over me

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

I'll be happy with whatever you paint mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

Hmmm could you maybe do one with me and the Scout's mom ;)

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

I WOULD BE HOLDING MY ROCKET LAUNCHER TRIUMPHANTLY WHILE STANDING ON A PILE OF DEAD NAZIS

Love the Soldier

Dear Rikusolo84

Me riding a unicorn on a rainbow whilst shooting flames out of my flamethrower also the unicorn will have fire breath

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

Me holding a bottle o scrumpy

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

How about me standing zhere looking crazy vhile someone is screaming in agony on my table

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

Just me holding Sasha

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

Me smiling a big friendly smile

Love the Engineer

Dear Rikusolo84

Me working because that's all I do

Love Miss Pauling

Dear Rikusolo84

How about that time I used the Scout as a weapon haha classic

Love Saxton Hale


	183. Chapter 183

Dear Soldier, I hate you

Dear Saxton Hale, I don't really like you...

Love Icy

Dear Icy

SOLDIER I HATE YOU (mockingly) REAL MATURE MAGGOT BUT I BET YOUR GOING TO GO CRYING TO THE SNIPER BEUCASE YOUR BUTT HURT GROW UP MAGGOT

Love the Soldier

Dear Icy

And your point is?

A very uncaring Saxton Hale


	184. Chapter 184

Dear Medic,

I plan on visiting Germany soon, and practicing medicine. Are you offering any classes? I would be happy to train under you. Also, I need to actually speak German better, so I think if I trained under you, then I could kill two birds with one stone. (I'm sorry if Archimedes was offended.)

Sincerely,

Matthias

Dear Matthias

Sure I'd love to train you *smiles*

Love zhe Medic


	185. Chapter 185

Dear Medic and Heavy,

This is related to the last one, but what do you two think of YOU AND ME: A Team Fortress 2 Song by Random Encounters?

Spy, if you're allowed to say, can you explain how your disguises work? I just find it weird how wearing a piece of paper with a face drawn on over your face makes you look like the Pyro?

Phoenix.

P.S. Freaky, there's a spelling error in Chapter 181. instead of really, you put rea;;y.

Dear Phoenix

I've never seen it

Love zhe Medic

Dear Phoenix

It was ok

Love Heavy

Dear Phoenix

it's a very special disguise kit that you can only get from Mannco I don't even know how it works! I just use it

Love the Spy

Dear Phoenix

My bad

Love Freaky


	186. Chapter 186

Dear Spy: Do you have any hobbies?

Dear FreakyFairyKitten: I will send no more letters to Soldier

Love Icy

Dear Icy

Yes placing knives in backs

Love the Spy

Dear Icy

Teehee no problem you don't have to if you don't want to

Love Freaky

Dear Icy

DO YOU PROMISE?

Love the Soldier


	187. Chapter 187

Dear demo

Please stop drinking it's bad for you

Love arkhamroyale

Dear Arkhamroyale

Well lad at least I'm going to die happy

Love the Demoman


	188. Chapter 188

Hey guys :)

Sniper I would have you on your belly on a rock covered by greenery looking down the scope of your rifle to look like you're hunting. Engie I'd have you sitting on a fence playing your guitar looking like you're enjoying a sunny day on your ranch. Spy would you and scouts mom like to model for me n*** or with clothes on because I'm comfortable either way, or whatever's comfortable with both of you?

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

That sounds nice mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

Ah would love that

Love the Engineer

Dear Rikusolo894

Um fully clothed is fine ya weirdo

Love the Spy


	189. Chapter 189

Dear Mercs,

Have you ever been in such a rush to get out and battle that you accidentally grabbed another Merc's weapon?

Miss Pauling, i have to give you credit. Working all year every year with one day off would drive anyone insane and quit. But you keep going. I know it's not much, but there are people, myself included, who see you as a hero for not giving up. Please, keep up the incredible work.

Phoenix.

Dear Phoenix

We have our own locka rooms to prevent dat from happening no one is going to grab my scattergun eva

Love da Scout

Dear Phoenix

That's really nice of you thanks

Love Miss Pauling


	190. Chapter 190

Dear Pyro: Wanna watch MLP with me?

Der Sniper: Do you like cats?

Love Icy

Dear Icy

Sure!

Love the Pyro

Dear Icy

I like them mate but I prefer dogs

Love the Sniper


	191. Chapter 191

Hey mercs, Admin and Ms. Pauling! What would you do if someone farted near you?

Love Dead to be forgotten

Dear Dead

Umm why would that matter I'm sure people do it all the time I mean its only natural

Love Miss Pauling


	192. Chapter 192

Hey guys :)

Spy I was just keeping my options open in case you wanted a portrait like that, but since you said you wanted to be clothed, then id have you and her dressed beautifully to the nines with both of you coming down a fancy staircase to a ballroom where a party is being held for royalty. Medic has demo ever asked for you to help him give him back his missing eye, if so what did you do and what happened after, and if not why

Dear Rikusolo84

That's sounds really nice

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

Ja he did but every Halloween it tries to kill us and I got sick of him asking so I made him forget about it

Love zhe Medic


	193. Chapter 193

Dear soldier

Why the fdid you slap jeff

Love Arkhamroyale

Dear Arkhamroyale

I DID NOT SLAP THAT MAGGOT I HIT HER WITH MY WHIP BECAUSE SHE HIT ME FIRST

Love the Soldier


	194. Chapter 194

Hey guys :)

Freaky is there any place that you'd like to visit at least once in your life? I wanna go to Japan and do a looooooooot of sightseeing. Mercs if you suddenly turned into women what would your reaction be and what would be the first thing you wanna do as a woman

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

Yes I want to go to Japan as well me and my brother are planning a trip there soon

Love Freaky

Dear Rikusolo84

I'd scream then I'd go pole dancing isn't dat what all women do?

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

I'd still go hunting and yea most likely scream mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

I'd go be besties with Scout's mom then when I'm a man again it would scare the crap out of her

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

I'D CRY BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE THE WORST I'D NEVER BE ABLE TO FIGHT AGAIN I'LL JUST KNIT AND COOK AND CLEAN THAT'S SO BORING

Love the Soldier

Dear Riksuolo84

Hmmm I'm not sure how to react but I'd still burn stuff and ride unicorns

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

I'd cry then get drunk

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

Vell I'd still experiment on people or are vomen too soft?

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

Heavy try on dress and scared sisters

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

Ah would just learn what it's like to be a woman and have more respect for em

Love the Engineer


	195. Chapter 195

Dear Spy, have you ever been on any cool missions?

Dear Pyro, YAY! Who's your favorite MLP character? Mine's a tie between Fluttershy and Princess Luna.

Dear Everyone (But Soldier), have you ever been in a haunted house?

Love Icy

Dear Icy

Yes I went on a mission to Italy I got to go through this cool mansion and yes I've been to a haunted house

Love the Spy

Dear Icy

Pinkiepie she's soo cute! And I burned the haunted house down when a clown chased me with a chainsaw

Love the Pyro

Dear Icy

Yea I've been to one

Love da Scout

Dear Icy

No I haven't mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Icy

No lassie can't say I have

Love the Demoman

Dear Icy

Nien never

Love zhe Medic

Dear Icy

Haunted house is not big thing in Russia

Love Heavy

Dear Icy

Yes when ah was a kid but I peed my pants so…

Love the Engineer


	196. Chapter 196

Dear Mercs,

During a ceasefire, what do you and your counterparts like to do?

Demo, how do you feel whenever you have to fight Monoculus during Halloween?

Phoenix.

Dear Phoenix

Go to a batting cage, hit on Miss Pauling, yknow stuff like dat

Love da Scout

Dear Phoenix

Go camping and hunting

Love the Sniper

Dear Phoenix

Stab backs

Love the Spy

Dear Phoenix

WELL I USUALLY MAKE THE OTHERS TRAIN ASIDE FROM THAT I GO ON PATROL YOU CAN'T TRUST THEM BLUS

Love the Soldier

Dear Phoenix

Burn magazines watch movies in my pajamas and play with that bread thing that tried to kill the Medic

Love the Pyro

Dear Phoenix

Fighting yer own eye is really kinda awesome and I get drunk on ceasefire days oh wait I get drunk all the time…

Love the Demoman

Dear Phoenix

Hmm I mainly vork in mien lab

Love zhe Medic

Dear Phoenix

Call home and make sure family is safe

Love Heavy

Dear Phoenix

Either build something or go out and enjoy the fresh air and play a little guitar

Love the Engineer


	197. Chapter 197

As a creator of a fake original character (the ***slinger) I have to call the cops on you (10 years later) how did you in joy jail

Dear sniper

Have you thought of putting poop in your jarate

Love Arkhamroyale

Dear Arkhamroyale

IF YOU CALL THE POLICE ON ME I WILL BE FORCED TO KILL YOU MERICILESSLY

Love the Soldier

Dear Arkhamroyale

Um no mate that's gross

Love the Sniper


	198. Chapter 198

Hi Scout still willing to teach me baseball? Hey Pyro sorry I haven't written to you in a while and Ms Pualing I think? Sorry if I spell your name wrong but if you need some stranger to rant to about problems I would be happy to help! Also you are one of the most BAD A** woman I have ever seen so kudos to you!

Love RoofSCat

Dear RoofSCat

Yea sure!

Love da Scout

Dear RoofSCat

Its ok I understand you have other things to do

Love the Pyro

Dear RoofSCat

Thanks for that I kinda have to be to deal with nine lunatics on a daily basis because they get exhausting Pyro usually burns the base at least once Scout always needs something Spy sneaking in my room Soldier yelling all day and night I guess Sniper Heavy and Engineer are more relaxed than the others Medic always needing organs Demoman going on drunken rants and of course the Administrator being on my back like non stop *sighs* its nice to know that people recognize me too

Love Miss Pauling


	199. Chapter 199

Hey guys :)

Soldier women can still fight we just fight differently. Scout not all women dance at strip clubs (wouldn't your ma be mad if you did?). Everyone else of course you'd be able to do the same stuff you always do just as a different gender, thanks for your answers. Also, pyro ever heard of an alicorn (A unicorn that has wings) and if not would you like one?

Dear Rikusolo84

NO THEY REALLY CAN'T THEY'LL JUST WHINE AND CALL US MEN TO DO IT FOR THEM

Love the Soldier

Dear Rikusolo84

Yea I know not all women dance in strip clubs I was just being a butthole and yes my ma would be very mad

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

Yes I've heard of one I watch MLP and yes I would love to own one

Love the Pyro


	200. Chapter 200

Dear Miss Pauling, if I was in your position I would never be able to keep my cool! You have my respect!

Dear everyone (but Soldier), if you were a mythical creature what would you be?

Love Icy

Dear Icy

Thanks it's nice to know I have fans too generally the mercs get all the fame and adoration

Love Miss Pauling

Dear Icy

Umm I guess I would be a dragon because that would rock and I'm hot so

Love da Scout

Dear Icy

I would be a Pegasus come on a flying horse enough said

Love the Sniper

Dear Icy

I would be a gargoyle

Love the Spy

Dear Icy

I WOULD BE A SOLDIER

Love the Soldier

Dear Icy

Ooh ooh I would want to be a fire breathing lion!

Love the Pyro

Dear Icy

How about a drunken werewolf

Love the Demoman

Dear Icy

I vould be a unicorn

Love zhe Medic

Dear Icy

Heavy would be werebear

Love Heavy

Dear Icy

Ah would be a reptilian

Love the Engineer


	201. Chapter 201

Dear shoulder

Man you should be a comedian because that is so funny. I'll beat the ever living crap outta you. I'll fight you any time any where you name it I'll be there

Dear pyro

Explain your hallucinations please

Love Arkhamroyale

Dear Arkhamroyale

NUMBER IDIOT IT'S SOLDIER NOT SHOULDER AND PLEASE YOUR NOT EVEN WORTH MY TIME WHAT'S WITH ALL THESE STUPID PEOPLE STARTING CRAP THEN GETTING MAD AT US WHEN YOU STARTED IT

Love the Soldier

Dear Arkhamroyale

Hallucinations? What hallucinations?

Love the Pyro


	202. Chapter 202

Dear Miss Pauling,

How did the names for the Merc classes come to be? Like, how did you decide to call it Demoman or Heavy Weapons Guy or Engineer?

Heavy, why do you call your mini-gun Sasha? I love the name, just curious to know.

Soldier, good work protecting and serving your country. We need more soldiers like you. GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Love Phoenix.

Dear Phoenix

Well we took their skills for instance sniping so we called him the Sniper and applied them to class names he burns things so Pyro medic heals and the Soldier wanted us to call him that so we humored him

Love Miss Pauling

Dear Phoenix

The truth is that's what Heavy would name daughter if he had one

Love Heavy

Dear Phoenix

THANK YOU FINALLY SOMEONE WHO IS NOT A COMPLETE IDIOT

Love the Soldier


	203. Chapter 203

Well I think you are one of the coolest people in Team Fortress so I really do apreseate(spelling isn't one of my strong points) what you do and feel free to rant about your day to me. Okay Scout lets start okay. And Pyro hugs for being patient and fireworks please light them outside so the base isn't burned okay? I really don't want you to lose your things. And Cookies to all the mercs and the other three (What do we call them? the corp trio.) everyone gets their favorite cookies! And Freaky thank for making this story! Cake for you!

RoofSCat

Dear RoofSCat

Thanks

Love Miss Pauling

Dear RoofSCat

Ok

Love da Scout

Dear RoofSCat

*hugs* thanks I will light them outside

Love the Pyro

Dear RoofSCat

Thanks I'm glad you're enjoying it

Love Freaky


	204. Chapter 204

Dear Sniper: What's your favorite season?

Dear Demoman: What's Scotland like?

Love Icy

Dear Icy

Spring it's the best for hunting mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Icy

Its beautiful and very green and lush

Love the Demoman


	205. Chapter 205

Dear Miss Pauling, That makes perfect sense. But is it you or the Administrator who chooses the names?

Spy, is there a Merc you prefer disguising as? If so, why?

Sniper, I've always wondered. Since you're a sniper, and therefore incredibly skilled with a rifle and bow, does that also apply to things like playing darts or when you throw things?

Love Phoenix

Dear Phoenix

The Administrator

Love Miss Pauling

Dear Phoenix

The Pyro everyone trusts him since he does the spy checking

Love the Spy

Dear Phoenix

Sure mate I can throw a mean dart

Love the Sniper


	206. Chapter 206

Hey guys:)

Talking to soldier about women's rights is like talking to an annoyingly loud wall, what did he do to you guys that made you want to kill him permanently including Pauling?

Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

Yea he really doesn't like women fighting anyways just listen to him talk for two seconds and you'll want to kill him

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

He's always yelling and he's really bossy mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

He once blew my cover because he was shouting like a crazed baboon

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

I like the Soldier he's just trying to get the job done

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

Me and Solly are friends but sometimes I do want to bash his head in

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

He messed up mien lab looking for his stupid raccoons

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

Baby is loud and annoying

Love Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

He's can be hard to get along with but sometimes ah wonder if something happened to him to make him like that

Love the Engineer

Dear Rikusolo84

*rubs temple* sometimes I question if he has a brain do you know how many vans we have to order in a week because he wrecks them all

Love Miss Pauling


	207. Chapter 207

Dear solider

I have something for you *gives activated grenade* good luck

Dear pyro

You know where you see happy stuff but your actually murddering peeps

P.s solider your a complete idiot

Dear Arkhamroyale

LOOK MAGGOT I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR GAMES MAYBE SCOUT WILL PLAY WITH YOU I'M NOT GOING TO ARGUE WITH YOU LIKE ICY DON'T SEND ME ANYMORE LETTERS BY ALL MEANS PLEASE DO

Love the Soldier

Dear Arkhamroyale

?

Love the Pyro

Dear Arkhamroyale

It's his Pyrovision goggles

Love Miss Pauling


	208. Chapter 208

Oi Demoman! I'm gonna tell you that I live in Glasgow, Scotland and well, I'm asking that have you ever been to Glasgow before? Not only that, what do you think of the city I live in as well?

Love Dead

Dear Dead

It's a beautiful city lots to see

Love the Demoman


	209. Chapter 209

Dear Demo: It sounds like a lovely place

Dear Spy: Is there anyone on the team you see as a friend?

Love Icy

Dear Icy

It is lassie I tell ye

Love the Demoman

Dear Icy

Not really I just kinda read Dapper Cadaver and widely ignore the others except on mission

Love the Spy


	210. Chapter 210

Hello Ms. Pauling how is your life? Hello Scout! And hugs for Pyro!

Love RoofSCat

Dear RoofSCat

Its fine I'm managing

Love Miss Pauling

Dear RoofSCat

Sup

Love da Scout

Dear RoofSCat

*hugs*

Love the Pyro


	211. Chapter 211

Dear soilder

*points middle fingers* bleep you

Dear miss Pauling

So you mean to tell me that pyro doesn't know that he's murrdering peeps

Dear scout

Your my new favorite class

Arkhamroyale

Dear Arkhamroyale

WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR BOAT BABY

Love the Soldier

Dear Arkhamroyale

Pretty much he can't tell reality from fantasy

Love Miss Pauling

Dear Arkhamroyale

Thanks glad you decided to join team Scout

Love da Scout


	212. Chapter 212

Dear everyone except Soldier: I know Engie can play guitar and Sniper can play saxophone, but can the rest of you play any instruments?

Love Icy

Dear Icy

I can play a mean air guitar

Love da Scout

Dear Icy

No I cannot

Love the Spy

Dear Icy

Xylophone

Love the Pyro

Dear Icy

Not really lassie

Love the Demoman

Dear Icy

Nien

Love zhe Medic

Dear Icy

Heavy can play belly drums

Love Heavy


	213. Chapter 213

Hey guys :)

Everyone but Soldier, if you guys could change something about your past would you (don't remember if this was asked)? This includes Freaky and Pauling

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Riku

Haha Soldier now you have a third person ignoring you anyways I guess I would make it to where I grew up with my dad as well

Love da Scout

Dear Riku

I wouldn't change a thing mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Riku

I hate to agree with dirty pee boy but me neither

Love the Spy

Dear Riku

Nope

Love the Pyro

Dear Riku

Hmmm I would have started drinking earlier if I had known it was this great

Love the Demoman

Dear Riku

Maybe I vould have actually gone to medical school

Love zhe Medic

Dear Riku

Spend more time with family

Love Heavy

Dear Riku

Got married and had kids

Love the Engineer

Dear Riku

Maybe I should have gone to law school….

Love Miss Pauling

Dear Riku

While I have many regrets I wouldn't change them because I learned from them and it helped shape me into the person I am today

Love Freaky


	214. Chapter 214

Dear Freaky, Who is your favourite class and load-out to play?

Dear Spy, why do you hate Sniper?

Dear Heavy, this was supposed to be in my last one. I think you'd make a great dad and your daughter would be a strong and powerful woman.

Dear Engineer, why do you only wear one glove? Did something happen to your right hand?

Love Phoenix

Dear Phoenix

I'm a hardcore Pyro main I use the rainblower flare gun and neon annihilator

Love Freaky

Dear Phoenix

Because he's a classless boob who wallows in filth and pee

Love the Spy

Dear Phoenix

Thanks Heavy agrees

Love Heavy

Dear Phoenix

Uh yea I had an accident with one of my creations

Love the Engineer


	215. Chapter 215

Hey its been a while i havent asked a question!

Dear Heavy,

Do you still hang out with Max, Strong Bad and Tycho to play some poker at the Inventory?

Love, Rub37

Dear Rub37

Of course Heavy does its relaxing after a long day

Love Heavy


	216. Chapter 216

Hey guys :)

If you could bring anyone back from the dead, with them being as healthy and alive as a normal person, who would it be and why?

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Riku

Not really

Love da Scout

Dear Riku

No I don't really know loss mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Riku

My mom because I miss her

Love the Spy

Dear Riku

ARE YOU STILL IGNORING ME IN THIS LETTER IF NOT ALL THE AMERICANS THAT DIED DURING WORLD WAR I AND II AND THE KOREAN WAR

Love the Soldier

Dear Riku

No

Love the Pyro

Dear Riku

Me bottle o Scrumpy I drank yesterday

Love the Demoman

Dear Riku

Zhe only people I bring back are mien teammates

Love zhe Medic

Dear Riku

My father

Love Heavy

Dear Riku

My parents

Love the Engineer


	217. Chapter 217

Dear everyone but soilder

Do y'all have a catch frase and if so what is it

Love Arkhamroyale

Dear Ark

Mine is "Lets waste em"

Love da Scout

Dear Ark

Not really mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Ark

How about "got your back"

Love the Spy

Dear Ark

Mmmphhh is my thing

Love the Pyro

Dear Ark

Yea I don't really have one

Love the Demoman

Dear Ark

Let's go practice medicine

Love zhe Medic

Dear Ark

Heavy has none

Love Heavy

Dear Ark

Pony up boys

Love the Engineer


	218. Chapter 218

WELL LETTERS IS A YEAR OLD TODAY A BITTERSWEET DAY AS I AM ANNOUCING THAT THIS WILL BE THE LAST LETTERS I AM DISCONTINUING LETTERS LIFE IS TOO CRAZY RIGHT NOW AND I CAN'T KEEP UP ITS TAKING TOO LONG FOR ME TO UPDATE AND I'M JUST WAAAY TO BUSY I'VE HAD A REAL HOOT WITH THIS FIC AND I HOPE YOU HAVE TOO FREAKY SIGNING OFF

-Freaky

Hey guys :)

I forgot to say in my last letter is that what I meant was if you could ring back anyone famous from the dead who would it be and why. But I'm with heavy and engie I wish I can bring back my mom. Freaky don't forget to ask your readers questions here if you want. Soldier I just wanted to ignore you for one letter and that was it

Love Rikusolo84

Dear Rikusolo84

Tom Jones he was a legend

Love da Scout

Dear Rikusolo84

Umm no one that I can think of mate

Love the Sniper

Dear Rikusolo84

Hmm not really

Love the Spy

Dear Rikusolo84

HOW ABOUT BETSY ROSS BECAUSE SHE MADE THE FIRST AMERICAN FLAG AND I'M GLAD WERE STILL SPEAKING MAGGOT

Love the Soldier

Dear Rikusolo84

I want to bring back dinosaurs because they are awesome and I want to ride one

Love the Pyro

Dear Rikusolo84

I got all I need me team and me Scrumpy

Love the Demoman

Dear Rikusolo84

Albert Einstein because he vas a genius

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rikusolo84

No one famous just father

Love the Heavy

Dear Rikusolo84

Same just my mom

Love the Engineer


	219. Chapter 219

Hi guys,

If you can be transported to one major event in history and change the outcome which event would you chose? (There is no consequence in doing so it will just create a new timeline. You will can return to your own timeline or can choose to stay in the new one.)

P.S. You can bring one companion from your team with you.

Love DimensionRider

Dear Dimension

Wheneva baseball was invented I would go back and change it to wear all da bats have a picture of me on them and I was da most famous baseball playa eva I would stay in dat one as long as da Pyro isn't in it

Love da Scout

Dear Dimension

I would go back before Australia was a prison island I would become ruler of it

Love the Sniper

Dear Dimension

I would most likely just go back and backstab people

Love the Spy

Dear Dimension

I WOULD GO BACK TO WHEN AMERICA WAS FOUNDED AND I WOULD SIGN THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE THEN I WOULD GO BACK TO MY OWN TIMELINE IT WOULD JUST BE REALLY COOL

Love the Soldier

Dear Dimension

There were no major events in Pyroland me and mayor Balloonicorn own everything

Love the Pyro

Dear Dimension

I would back to when the lochness monster was first spotted and kill it then I would stay there and get hailed a hero

Love the Demoman

Dear Dimension

I would go back to zhe beginning of time and just live zhere

Love zhe Medic

Dear Dimension

Of course Heavy would make it to where father never died

Love Heavy

Dear Dimension

Ah think everything worked out the way it was supposed and wouldn't change anything

Love the Engineer


	220. Chapter 220

Dear Pyro, my family recently got a new kitten! He's so tiny and he has three legs

Dear Sniper: What kind of music do you like? (not sure if this has been asked yet)

Love Icy

Dear Icy

Aww I bet he's really cute

Love the Pyro

Dear Icy

I prefer to listen to soothing nature sounds

Love the Sniper


	221. Chapter 221

Dear mercs (all of them)

Plz react to Meet the Spy Reanimated and tell me what you think

Note: the link i wanted didnt worked so i reposted my comment take this one instead

Love, Rub37

Dear Rub

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaahahaa

Love da Scout

Dear Rub

Umm…

Love the Sniper

Dear Rub

This is crap just watch the original where I backstabbed the whole blu team haha

Love the Spy

Dear Rub

NO COMMENT

Love the Soldier

Dear Rub

Hehehehehe

Love the Pyro

Dear Rub

*spits Scrumpy* hahahahaha

Love the Demoman

Dear Rub

Vell I'm just going to vork now..

Love zhe Medic

Dear Rub

….

Love Heavy

Dear Rub

Ah think it was really funny

Love the Engineer


	222. Chapter 222

Dear everyone but soilder

Don't know if this has been asked but what is the most embarrassing thing y'all have ever done

Love Arkhamroyale

Dear Ark

Forgot to reload my scattergun

Love da Scout

Dear Ark

I once missed a Heavy and shot my team mate instead

Love the Sniper

Dear Ark

Accidently dropped my knife as I lunged

Love the Spy

Dear Ark

Burned the whole base down

Love the Pyro

Dear Ark

Wildly shot sticky bombs and then fell and blew meself up

Love the Demoman

Dear Ark

Accidently ubered zhe Scout vhen I meant to uber zhe Heavy

Love zhe Medic

Dear Ark

Heavy raced into battle and realized too late I forgot minigun

Love Heavy

Dear Ark

Accidently destroyed my own sentry gun we lost the match and everyone was mighty mad at me

Love the Engineer

Ps demo

Wtf is a scrumpy

Love Arkhamroyale

Dear Ark

Its me own concoction

Love the Demoman


	223. Chapter 223

Anime Gal:Dear Mercs,

If you all were to switch classes for a day which one would you be good at and which one would you be bad at.

And Demo, Medic, and Pyro you're the best. :)

Love A. Gal

Dear Anime

Hmm I bet I would make a good Medic I could get to the lines faster but I would suck at Heavy given my low health

Love da Scout

Dear Anime

I would be a good Scout in a way I could use my scope to scout ahead but I would suck as a spy for obvious reasons

Love the Sniper

Dear Anime

I'm good at spying and spying alone

Love the Spy

Dear Anime

I WOULD BE A GOOD DEMOMAN I MEAN I'M USED TO BLOWING STUFF UP I BET I COULD ADAPT TO ANY CLASS

Love the Soldier

Dear Anime

But the other classes don't get to burn stuff I guess I could be like the Heavy I use a shotgun as well but I'd be a bad Engineer none of us are smart enough to do the things he does

Love the Pyro

Dear Anime

I would be a good Soldier its easy aim and fire but I really would be out of me league anywhere else

Love the Demoman

Dear Anime

Hmm I can use a bow so maybe I could give sniping a go but I would never want to be a Scout that job seems crappy

Love zhe Medic

Dear Anime

Heavy think Heavy could figure out Engineer's machines Heavy is pretty smart but I couldn't be a Scout too fat and slow

Love Heavy

Dear Anime

Maybe we could switch I'll be the pybro and he'll be the engineer but other than that I'm used to just being a support class

Love the Engineer


	224. Chapter 224

Dear Mercs and Miss Pauling, Can you speak any other languages? For Spy, Medic and Heavy, French, German and Russian don't count for obvious reasons.

Dear Heavy, You named your Mini-gun Sasha. Do you have names for your other weapons or just her?

Dear Demo, How accurate are you with your Grenade Launchers?

Love Phoenix

Dear Phoenix

No I cannot

Love da Scout

Dear Phoenix

I can speak a little German

Love the Sniper

Dear Phoenix

English French German Russian Spanish and Italian

Love the Spy

Dear Phoenix

WHY WOULD I WANT TO LEARN ANOTHER LANGUAGE OTHER THAN ENGLISH IT'S THE BEST LANGUAGE

Love the Soldier

Dear Phoenix

I can speak unicorn rainbow kitten fairy puppy

Love the Pyro

Dear Phoenix

English and Gaelic

Love the Demoman

Dear Phoenix

Vell you figure English is another language for me being born in Germany and all so English and German

Love zhe Medic

Dear Phoenix

Heavy can speak English and Russian

Love Heavy

Dear Phoenix

Just English however ah have always wanted to learn Spanish

Love the Engineer


	225. Chapter 225

WELL THIS IS IT THE MERCS WANNA SAY BYE

Scout "see ya it was fun talking to ya morons"

Sniper "I'm gunna miss ya"

Spy "fine I guess I'll miss you"

Soldier "SO LONG MAGGOTS AND *SIGHS* I'M SORRY JEFF'S ICY DRAGON OF MINECRAFT AND ARKHAMROYALE AND RIKUSOLO84"

Pyro "*cries and hugs*"

Demoman "this shot is for you guys for being amazing readers and taking the time to write to us"

Medic "Vell zhis is goodbye zhen"

Heavy "Heavy will give all babies a bear hug"

Engineer "ya'll were an amazing bunch I'll miss the heck outta ya anyways ah wish you all well"

Miss Pauling "bye and thank you guys for wanting to include me"

Saxton Hale "I hate goodbyes"

Scout "now it's time for so long"

Sniper "but we'll sing just one more song"

Spy "thanks for doing your part"

Soldier "YOU SURE ARE SMART"

Pyro "you know with me and you"

Demoman "and me dog blue"

Medic "we can do anyzhing"

Heavy "that we wanna"

Engineer "do"

CUE ALL THE MERCS STANDING OUTSIDE THE BASE WAVING


End file.
